#i need to find a clip of this specific dialogue. cause i keep thinking of it..

[dailykarin]

day 7 karin: valkyrie

[fuzzydreamin]

What The Companions Say About... Mirelurks!

I'm posting these just because I find the companions in-game reactions to things rather interesting. You might be surprised by what some of them have to say about certain things.

These are just their dialogues for during combat and after combat or walking through areas inhabited by this enemy type. It does not include anything from specific areas, quests, or other dialogue.

⌨ Ada

⌨: If radiation hyper-evolved the horseshoe crab, I wonder how it's affected the rest of the ocean's inhabitants. ⌨: It's fascinating that the mirelurk's social order resembles a caste-like system. ⌨: Never aim for the mirelurk's shell… it's a waste of ammunition. ⌨: My olfactory sensors are catching the scent of rotten fish. Quite revolting for you, I'd imagine. ⌨: Gather all the mirelurk meat that you can, it's actually rather nutritious… if you can get past the slimy texture.

☘ Cait

Regular ☘: Crab feast! ☘: Concentrate fire on their soft spots! Royal ☘: Holy shite, look at the size of that beast! ☘: 'Lurk King! Take 'em down!

☘: I've heard of gettin' crabs, but this is somethin' entirely different. ☘: All we need is some drawn butter and a squeeze of lemon, then we'll be all set. ☘: Damn 'lurks… this whole place stinks like the sea. ☘: Try and hit the 'lurks in their soft spots… don't waste your time shootin' at their shell. ☘: 'Lurks are the main reason you won't catch me skinny dippin' anytime soon.

⚙ Codsworth

Regular ⚙: {Neutral} Mirelurks, mum! ⚙: {Neutral} Crab cakes for dinner, mum?

⚙: {making a joke with bravado / Amused} Crab cakes for dinner, mum? ⚙: {thinking aloud} Mirelurks. Horrible creatures. ⚙: {making a terrible joke with bravado / Amused} Mirelurks are no stroll along the beach, eh mum? Haha. ⚙: {(with bravado) giving advice} When beset by mirelurks, clock 'em in the squishy spots. ⚙: {Concerned} Keep a look out for mirelurks, mum.

⚕ Curie

Regular ⚕: Even the crabs have mutated. Their carapace provided no resistance. ⚕: We must defeat these… mirelurks. For science. ⚕: Tissue samples may provide theories as to these mirelurks genesis. ⚕: These mirelurks, they were not in the Old World, right? Royal ⚕: The mirelurk queen must play a vital role in their reproductive cycle.

⚕: It stands to reason that aquatic animals would succumb to the ravages of radiation. ⚕: Are mirelurk claws a great delicacy? ⚕: So their carapace did not protect their ancestors from mutation. ⚕: The aquatic ecosystem is worthy of study. The mirelurks' role in this, I am sure, is quite fascinating. ⚕: I hypothesise that the initial cause of many animal mutations was mankind's research. The mirelurk, for example.

♞ Danse

Regular ♞: Mirelurks! Take them down! ♞: Aim for their heads! Royal ♞: King, huh? We'll see about that! ♞: Watch for their blasts!

♞: {Sarcasm} Mirelurks. What's next? Giant fish with sharp teeth? ♞: These creatures are one of the reasons why the Brotherhood travels by air and not by sea. ♞: {rhetorical} Is it just me, or do you smell the ocean whenever these things are around? ♞: I wonder if the Brotherhood could adapt the mirelurk's carapace for use as armoured plating. ♞: It's ludicrous to name their leaders "kings" and "queens." Mirelurks are nothing but disorganised rabble.

🕶 Deacon

Regular 🕶: Time for crab cakes. 🕶: Great. How many clips is it going to take to kill those things? Royal 🕶: Oh no, it's a big one. 🕶: Just once I want radiation to turn something into a giant fluffy bunny instead of the Grand Poobah of all mirelurks. Hail.

🕶: I would've paid 50 caps to be with you the first time you saw one of the crabs. Must've thought you'd walked into a B movie. 🕶: I hate 'lurks. Piercing their shell is a bitch, let me tell you. 🕶: Hit the 'lurks in their soft spot, if you can. Then grab butter. Yum. 🕶: Can we just steer clear of the mirelurks next time? They chew through my ammo. 🕶: Because, you know, the world wasn't screwed enough. So sure, bring on the giant nearly indestructible crabs. That'll be good.

☠ Gage

Regular ☠: Try and hit the face! ☠: God I hate these stupid shells… Royal ☠: You ain't king of shit! ☠: Nice fins, show-off!

☠: {SinisterSmile} You like crab? Me, never cared for it. ☠: {SinisterSmile} Ever wonder what it'd be like to have claws?… Me neither. ☠: {SinisterSmile} Mudcrabs sure do have a certain… odour to 'em, don't they?

☣ Hancock

Regular ☣: {Irritated} Come on, handsome. Show me that face. ☣: {Stern} Aim for the eyes! Royal ☣: {Neutral} So long, your Majesty. ☣: {Stern} I'm your king now!

☣: {Neutral} You know what mirelurk shell doesn't protect against? Mines. ☣: {Neutral} Folks'll pay good money for 'lurk meat. Never a fan myself. ☣: {Neutral} Everywhere there's water, there's damn 'lurks. ☣: {Neutral} Keep an eye out for burrows. Mirelurks like their meals surprised. ☣: {Straightforward, changing to "I have seen some shit." / Neutral} I saw a mirelurk spawning once. Can't eat shellfish to this day.

☸ Longfellow

☸: {Sarcasm, punctuate with a laugh} Fightin' mirelurks always makes me hungry. Smell like seafood, all of 'em. ☸: {Grim} Seen a mirelurk's claw snap a man in half once. ☸: {Safe old hunter giving advice} Mirelurks are damn quick for their size. Wouldn't recommend tryin' to outrun one. ☸: {Safe old hunter giving advice} Fightin' mirelurks ain't complicated. Just like most critters, you aim for the soft bits.

⨁ MacCready

Regular ⨁: Mirelurk! Take it out! ⨁: Shoot for its head! Royal ⨁: Time for some regicide! ⨁: Heads up! Mirelurk king!

⨁: Okay, I've officially lost my appetite for seafood. ⨁: Some people eat mirelurk meat, but I never got used to the taste. ⨁: If there was ever a sign that nature's pissed at us, this is it. ⨁: You're going to need some high velocity ammo if you want to punch through mirelurk armour. ⨁: Hope you brought a mallet and bib with you.

♥ Nick

Regular ♥: {Stern} Watch it. Lurks on the loose. ♥: {Neutral} Don't fire until you see the whites of their eyestalks. Royal ♥: {Confident} There's a new king in town. ♥: {Neutral} Careful. These kings like to serenade their supper.

♥: {Neutral} You see any burrows around? Mirelurks usually like to scare the hell out of their prey before eating them… ♥: {Neutral} If you're really looking to tick off a mirelurk, fiddle with its eggs. ♥: {Neutral} And this is why I don't swim. ♥: {Neutral} Anywhere there's water, there's mirelurks.

✉ Piper

Regular ✉: {Irritated} Come on, lurk. Show us that underbelly. ✉: {Stern} If you like your limbs, I'd keep my distance. Royal ✉: {Neutral} Careful. These things know how to wail. ✉: {Stern} So long, your Highness.

✉: {Neutral} You can make a pretty penny selling mirelurk eggs, so long as you're not too attached to your fingers. ✉: {Neutral} I wouldn't stick a toe in water for years because of these things. ✉: {Conspiratorial} The secret to dealing with mirelurks? Mines. ✉: {Neutral} With the right spices, mirelurk meat can taste just like an old shoe. ✉: {Neutral} You know what fact never fails to give me chills when it comes to mirelurks? The world? Seventy percent water.

☀ Preston

Regular ☀: Mirelurks. Aim for the face. ☀: Let's see how your shell stands up to this. Royal ☀: It's one of the big ones. ☀: Damn, look at the size of that thing.

☀: Keep an eye out. 'Lurks could be hiding anywhere around here. ☀: Mirelurk meat is pretty tasty, if you don't mind the smell. ☀: Damn, I hate these things. ☀: Remember, you're just wasting ammo shooting at a 'lurk's shell. The soft underbelly's what you want to aim for. ☀: I hope you like seafood.

☢ Strong

☢: Mirelurks. ☢: Mirelurks smell fishy. Strong hate fishy. ☢: Smash mirelurk face. It softest part. ☢: Mirelurks smell bad but taste good. ☢: Strong smash mirelurks.

☾ X6-88

☾: {Concerned} I've seen a mirelurk crush a cement block like it was nothing. ☾: You want to keep a mirelurk at range, ma'am. Fire, fall back and repeat. ☾: Mirelurks are slower on land. That's where you want to fight them. ☾: Mirelurk shells are as hard as rock. Aim for the eyes, or between the plates. ☾: {Disgust} We're going to smell like seafood for a week.

-----

My Notes:

Codsworth makes the same joke both when entering combat and exploring a spawn area.

Curie thinks humans may have played a part in the creation of Mirelurks, and not just natural radiation exposure - that said, it could be alluding to the additional polution of FEV from the bombs and sites hit by them, not that Curie has any knowledge of that though.

Danse really hates mirelurks, and probably everything that might come out of the ocean. No wonder he was so glad to join the BoS and get out of Rivet City. Don't take him to a beach, he'll be sour and on alert the whole time.

Deacon also no likey the big crabs. Except for eating. Bring him it pre-killed.

Gage calling them mudcrabs is cute.

Hancock is scarred. Man's seen some shit.

Guess it's good Mac doesn't have a taste for crab, seeing as fish gives him gas.

Pretty sure crabs have black eyes, so... Guess Nick doesn't want us to shoot them at all😂

Piper will eat mole rat meat, something most seem to hate, but thinks Mirelurk is bad? Guess she wouldn't fancy a trip to Fah Hahbah.

Mirelurks smell bad, but taste good.

[mildew-mop]

Also curious if you watched the Loki series cause Kang was more interesting with that in context for me but I also don't think they should have relied on people seeing Loki series to make it interesting cause the Disney plus stories aren't SUPPOSED to be necessary to understanding it. Plus also the whole MCU "need to watch everything to enjoy it" is a whole tangent on its own but I digress. I liked the movie but that is largely cause they had good ants and our little loves Ant Man saga SOLELY for ant scenes and not for the plot or anything else and I find it hella funny and amusing to see you screaming about it cause it absolutely was not a good movie and its TOTALLY valid and correct complaints XD

I have not seen Loki, as I have not gotten around to it. The ONLY information given in this movie about Kang is that he is played by a man named Johnathan Majors with scar prosthetics on his face. He was exiled into the quantum realm because he has... conquered various... timelines... worlds? Anyways his ship was sabotaged when he was sent to the quantum realm and the macguffin power core keeps getting exploded and unexploded but he wants it to be unexploded so he can escape to prevent something bad from happening. (I am not exaggerating when I say that the movie is quite fucking literally this vague. Specifics are not given. You could recreate the dialogue and exposition in this movie by copy/pasting lines from basically any generic ass movie with any kind of conflict. I am not joking at all. You know those videos of songs recreated from clips from movies or people talking? That but entire lines from basically anything.)

[justalittlebluetiefling]

i CANNOT believe we haven’t talked about the moment yet what is happening please tell me the things you need to get off your chest like how ‘i’ll see you in the morning’ haunts you

HOW have we not talked about this yet?!?! Oh my gosh there’s so much. I have so many feelings about this conversation.

Uh oh, this needs a cut. Didn’t mean to turn this into an entire analysis of that conversation, but apparently I had a lot I needed to get off my chest.

How are YOU holding up with all this?!?!

I was really worried about you... when you fell. ... This suddenly feels far more serious than I thought it might be.

UMMMMM. His voice?! This whole time. His voice is like... unsteady and rough and he’s quiet the entire time. Fjord tends to be pretty subtle anyway, so quiet isn’t exactly rare for him, but this actually shook him to his core AND YOU COULD HEAR IT. It messed him up so bad that he threw all of his plans to wait out of the window?!

It felt like hell. It felt like torment.

And we have to stop it, right?

I’m emotional about THIS because JESTER?! She lost FIVE YEARS. Not only did she have to see this again, feel it, but she lost five years. And it’s clearly hurting her, but she’s not letting herself worry about it, because there are bigger things to worry about. It’s just the way both of them push their own emotions to the side to be dealt with later in favor of the larger problems at hand. It’s so admirable.

AND HE’S NOT EVEN... okay wait.

I... I may have a... a... a problem.

THE WAY HE CAN’T EVEN SAY IT. He’s so NERVOUS. Because he KNOWS why he’s THERE.

And JESTER. What is it? So fast! She’s so worried! She probably thinks it’s Uk’otoa or Kotho contacted Fjord about Sabian again or something.

I saw you standing on that pillar. It was the first time where I kept myself from... trying to... stop something that was happening TO you and... I didn’t do anything and it’s bothered me.

He has a problem. His problem is that he can’t focus past the fact that something might happen to Jester. THE THING HERE. IS THE EMPHASIS ON THE WORD ‘TO’. “Stop something that was happening TO you”. Like, all of the times throughout this campaign that we weren’t overanalyzing. We’ve made the list a thousand times and I don’t need to repeat them. here

ALSO. Think about how many things in Fjord’s life have happened TO him. He doesn’t WANT that to happen to anyone else. Especially not Jester.

But wait. Like. He didn’t say it, but he really CAN’T focus past the idea that Jester specifically might not make it out of this. The guilt he’s been carrying after the Iron Shepherds. He took all the responsibility of that onto his shoulders and I don’t think anyone realizes that he’s still hanging onto that.

It seems to have exacted a pretty serious toll.

It’s just... his voice! And the way Jester’s face falls!! I’ve been pretty worried about how Jester still seems to be putting up the ‘happy’ facade for everyone and you can truly see in this moment how much it bothers her that she’s lost time.

I want to come out of this and be able to go back to the sea and go back to Nicodranas and go back to where it’s warm and not fucking freezing and...

Me too.

They miss HOME. The poor Coast Kids miss their home. They’re both so sad. But okay. The hilarious thing here? Is that Fjord? Is talking about how he wants to go back. To THEIR home. With HER. And it hasn’t HIT HER yet, because she’s distracted! She has no idea what’s about to happen.

I just don’t know if that’s... I don’t feel as optimistic now.

Me neither. But... I’ll try to be safe. And you should, too. But if it comes down to it, if it means stopping that thing? I want to stop that thing.

AND HERE. What was it he said to her at Travelercon? And you care about people you know, about people you don't know. You cause chaos, but in the end, you don't want to hurt people. You care. This is something that he LOVES about her, but right now, it’s just... okay I’m trying to put this into the right words.

*sharp inhale* I told your mother I would look after you.

Yeah. I’ll be fine, Fjord. We always are.

Continued from the previous thought. HERE’S THE DEAL. Fjord knows he can’t protect Jester from this, no matter how much he wants to. His voice is breaking over that. And Jester’s is, too. They’re saying all these words here, but they’re also NOT. I don’t know. I’m watching the video again while I’m typing this, so this moment is breaking my heart in slow motion.

It’s not even just on Fjord’s side. Jester’s doing that thing right now where she deflects, because that’s what she does and trying to reassure Fjord because he’s never been so worried about her and she doesn’t know what else do to while Fjord is sitting here like we’re running out of time we’re running out of time we’re running out of time. Like, that’s the whole thing. He can see that they’re running out of time on Jester’s face. Literally. It was one thing for him to wait to tell her until after he sorted out his life when they felt invincible. But... out of all the danger they’ve been in before, he’s always been able to follow her. She’s never had to be alone in it, because he was one step behind her. And this time? There was literally nothing to do. He was powerless. He is powerless.

This part of the exchange is so loaded. You can FEEL Fjord about to break. It is tangible on the screen because his voice keeps shaking and he takes that huge breath.

IT’S JUST. He’s trying SO HARD. I always talk about this, but this one specific  time Travis was on Talks lives in my head rent free. The time when he talks about how much Jester’s unconditional and unrelenting support has meant to Fjord and how much Fjord wants to be able to return that. ALL he wants to do is be there for her and she’s still not opening up to him and he has NO IDEA if what he’s about to do is going to work. He has no idea if she’s going to be okay with what he’s about to tell her.

I care very much for you.

Really?

JESTER’S VOICE IS SO SOFT. SO SOFT. AND HE’S LOOKING AT HER. AND SHE’S LOOKING AT HIM.

I’m melting over this moment.

*huge sigh*

Is it because I have chiseled cheekbones now?

It’s the longer horns.

Yeah, it really does it, doesn’t it?

Yeah. It gives you an intimidating look.

YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE ABOUT THIS?! Jester saw that Fjord was nervous and she immediately tries to defuse the tension with a joke. And he jokes back. Because that’s what they do together. They’re goofy and silly and they comfort each other and Fjord LIKES that she’s strong.

Listen I’ve got clips saved up from my last rewatch because I want to make a gifset of the times Fjord has been openly appreciative of strong Jester and one day I’m gonna do it.

I mean they’re joking around, but Fjord is like, super attracted to Jester and I really love that for her. But it’s MORE than that, because he’s attracted to her, but the thing that won him over was who she is so every time he talks about how attractive he finds her, it’s just icing on the cake. He doesn’t just want to see her, he wants to know her and I don’t know how I got to this point from this section but here I am, I’m not going back.

C A N I K I S S Y O U

OKAY.

I’m gonna hyperventilate again for a sec.

It caught Jester SO OFF GUARD. AND THEN SHE’S NODDING AND THEY’RE SMILING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY’RE SO IN LOVE AND IT’S JUST BEAUTIFUL HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS

HOW.

Kissing is a lot more fun when you’re not dying.

Jester!!! She brought up the kiss! THEY SMILE AT EACH OTHER AFTER THIS. LIKE. They both acknowledge the “kiss that wasn’t a kiss” AS A KISS. I never thought we’d hear about this again! But Jester’s been thinking about it THIS WHOLE TIME!!!

I love this though. The first time, he kisses her to save her life so she can get them out of that temple. This time, he kisses her, because he can’t stand the idea of losing her.

BUT ALSO. KISSING IS FUN. Jester!!! Liked!! Being kissed! By Fjord!!!

I want them to have downtime so bad. I want them to be able to spend time walking around Nicodranas and kissing and going on little dates and eating ice cream at the Lavish Chateau and hanging out at the beach with Luc. I WANT THEM TO HAVE QUIET MOMENTS.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

This was so cute! This last part might be my favorite part of the conversation. Because Jester got all flustered and FOR ONCE Fjord didn’t get awkward! He was just so RELIEVED to have told her! And she was so HAPPY?! The CUTEST grin on her face! EVER.

I’VE WANTED TO DO IT FOR A WHILE.

JESTER’S GIGGLE HERE!!!!!!!!!!! I love this for her so much. I just do. She’s been SO into him for SO long and she didn’t think he liked her back and here he is TELLING HER HE’S WANTED TO KISS HER FOR A WHILE. Her giddiness is contagious!

And FJORD! How LONG have you wanted to kiss her?! For some reason, this isn’t something I’ve considered when trying to figure out the timeline of Fjord’s feelings. When is the first time he wanted to kiss her? I think I need to go watch all their big conversations again to see if I think it’s any of them. For some reason, I feel like it’s going to be in one of those silly little moments they have together and I’m going to miss it. Do I rewatch the entire campaign for a third time???? Is that what I have to do?

I’m kind of a big coward.

No, Fjord, you’re very brave.

I am very brave, aren’t I?

You are.

Jester FULLY believes this. She’s just smiling over at him this whole time. But he looks down. Because he still doesn’t think he’s brave. Or he’s brave enough for most things, but there’s ONE THING he knows he can’t do and that’s let her go and I’M. 

Is this all just speculation and guessing and me making stuff up? Yes. Do I care? No. That’s what his face says to me in that moment.

ALL WHILE JESTER IS JUST SO HAPPY. She DOES think he’s brave and she thinks he’s amazing and he just kissed her and it’s not how she thought it would happen, but IT DID and it was so meaningful.

We could get cats and just flee.

I need to get the whole dialogue for this, but I’m tired tbh and I need to sleep, so I’m gonna focus on this last part. How they’re talking over each other to joke around, but it’s really smooth and flows really well between them. But right before this you can still see how heavily the upcoming trials are weighing on them. They feel a little better about EACH OTHER, but there’s a very real possibility that they’re about to lose each other, but they can take this ONE moment of hope?!

And I just love it when they joke around with each other to try to make each other feel better. They’re so good to each other. 

I’ll see you in the morning.

God, the way his voice is just ROUGH and small and quiet and he DOESN’T WANT TO LEAVE and they just SMILE AT EACH OTHER and they’re scared of what’s coming but THEY KNOW THEY LIKE EACH OTHER and they’re SO HAPPY FOR THIS MOMENT. 

And the soft way they say goodnight to each other!!!

THEY!!!!!!!!! make me want to walk into the ocean. In a good way. I SWEAR I CAN’T WITH THIS.

And then the way Jester sighed and giggled after Fjord left! And I can see her leaning back against her door and sighing and looking up at the ceiling and just..... SO. HAPPY.

She doesn’t even ask for a cat cuddle pile!!!! She just stares at her unicorn until she falls asleep. SHE DOESN’T ASK FOR A CAT CUDDLE PILE! 

And then there’s Fjord! Who doesn’t sleep much!

That part makes me a little more angsty. There’s lots of reasons he might be awake most of the night. There are some really cute ones. Like he’s thinking holy shit I just kissed Jester and she kissed me back and she said it was fun that’s good right? And then there are the angsty ones where he could have been laying there thinking about how he doesn’t have any control over the situation and how scared he is. But he did something and he made her smile and that’s all he ever really wants to do. Is make Jester happy. And maybe he made Jester happy in this moment where she was trying to hide that she’s sad. AND THE THING IS THAT HE DID! 

And I’ll leave you with a very short list of random things I expect them to say to one another at one point with no context:

I can’t stand the thought of losing you.

Are you sure you don’t miss the longer horns?

You don’t always have to be fine.

OH. ALSO. 

Get ready for casual intimacy. I’m ready for hand holding. Shoulder touching. brushing someone’s hair out of their face. GET READY BECAUSE IT’S GONNA HAPPEN.

[oneletteredwondered]

Hi! Sorry to bother you, I just have a question. I just joined tiktok and am thinking of creating a mascaraed Roman au, but I have no idea how to start or if I should or if it’s too soon... I absolutely adore your high school au and was wondering if you have any tips or wisdom?? Thank you!! 💜

It's never too soon to AU XD

My suggestion would be, if you have some sort of storyline you want your AU to follow, make a word doc and start writing out little plot points/scenes you would like to include in your story.

For example

Roman wears gold

Janus wears red in 'revenge'

Roman freaks out

Get your base down first so you know what you're working with.

After that it's a matter finding audios that fit your scenes. Scrolling through tiktok for audios or songs you like or think fit your AU, keep an open mind cause ANYTHING can be twisted to your story if you think about it. This does not mean find anything and try to shove it in, but find things close and keep your AU in mind when audio hunting. Once you find a sound you like, copy link of the audio itself or video that gave you inspiration, or write down what audio you want, and add it to your doc.

For example

Roman wears gold - dissolve - link here

Janus wears red in revenge - so this is love - audio needed

Roman freaks out - he was very charismatic! (princess and the frog audio) - link here

Keep doing this until you have close to if not all of your sounds necessary for your scenes. There's no rush to complete this. You will most likely find things that fit your AU half way through filming or planning, do not be afraid to put them in your doc.

When hunting for audios or finding sounds that work, change up the length of your videos. Do NOT only make 45 seconds-minute long videos. And do NOT only make quick 5-15 second videos. When thinking about your AU, figure out which parts needs quick moments and which parts need to be drawn out. You are telling a story and a movie, make it cinematic.

For example

Remus never ending pick up lines are goofy and hold no weight to the story other than funny. Can be short.

Remus figuring out he actually has feelings for Logan is a major point for Remus, it holds weight to their arc and development. Longer time frame.

Sophie suggests: if you have the ability to do so, video/audio editing skills or app, so this way you can make or change audios to fit your needs even better, or add more flare to your videos.

If need be, or just for brain purposes, you can always add a choreography bit, possible dialogue options, or a brief description of what you want to happen in the video to your doc so things that happen near the end, you know what you're supposed to be doing or planned originally.

For example

Roman wears gold - roman walks by janus, slo mo, petty- dissolve - link here

Janus wears red in revenge - looks at the camera, dialogue 'see something you like pretty boy?' - so this is love - audio needed

Roman freaks out - roman having a MOMENT - he was very charismatic! (princess and the frog audio) - link here

Then you can film to your hearts content!

You can film all of them in one go, or split it up how you want, and save multiple drafts. Try to put them out in order as best you can, that's the whole point of the doc and plot map. Once you put a video out, copy link of your own video, and add it to your doc to keep track of what you need to film/is out already/sitting in drafts ready to go.

For example

Roman wears gold - posted - link to video here

Janus wears red in revenge - in drafts - so this is love - link here

Roman freaks out - needs filming - roman having a MOMENT - he was very charismatic! (princess and the frog audio) - link here

Save the audio link until the video is posted just in case you decide to refilm a scene.

I would recommend making a hashtag for the AU so people can find your story easier. Something that is simple and not too long but gets the point across.

For example

One sanders sides high school alternate universe = onesshsau

It'll be tempting to make your AU hashtag like Romanmasqueradeau but that's long and you only have so much space in your description. Shorten words, make it sweet and simple. Tag all your videos appropriately.

In your description of videos, put a little quip about the scene itself.

For example

In the roman wears gold video, the description is "when you wear your totally not a crush favorite color to get his attention but you're still petty".

Which is.. very long to be fair but lol and in return:

In the janus wears red for revenge video, the description is "two can play at that game".

Something that gives the viewers a little more to the story to hold on to.

Sophie suggests: you can always put backstory in the comment section to give yourself more space to talk about a scene, tell the viewers where to find it. "Backstory in comments" works pretty well.

For the cover clip, choose a banner to go with the clip. Keep the banner the same throughout the whole AU so people know which videos are and are not a part of your AU. If you plan your videos out well enough, you can even add 'parts' to your banners so people know where to look next.

For example

The banner for the hs au is... : HS AU.

If the AU was planned better, the banner would have been : HS AU pt 4. And for duets: HS AU pt 4.2.

This way people who join the AU mid way can click your hashtag, see the part markers, and know exactly where to go next to get the full story in order.

In the event you find an audio you want to use for your AU but the timing has passed(aka you already put out videos that come later timeline wise) you can still use the audio. In the description/comments you would put something along the lines of "what happened after/when -insert moment here-" and for the cover clip banner add .5 to the number marker.

If you plan on doing this AU on your own, caption videos properly, make things duettable if you want to encourage interaction, but make sure that they are stand alone available so people who don't see a duet can still get the full story. You can always duet yourself and add captions to the blank space above the video should you wish.

Something I've seen other creators do is put a poll or "what should they do?/pick an option" in the video captions or description. I would recommend NOT doing this. You may want the interaction from the audience, but then you'll need to make sure your plot map and audios match up with the choice and that it's something you want to happen as well. Also. If you don't get a lot of audience interaction, you may be disappointed, and that uh, sucks.

Something else I've seen is self duets where the duet part is all black and has a paragraph of the scene so people can have the story line more fully that way. That's a personal choice to make for yourself if you want to use this method. Snail(1_1snailxd) has used this method before if you want an example. They do plenty of AUs too if you want to see another creators process.

Keep your outfits and lighting consistent unless necessary for change in the story arc.

Since this is your AU and your page, you can post the videos for the AU whenever you want. Every day, every other day, every specific day. It does not matter. I would space them out if you can, or at least not post more than three videos for your AU a day. Give the viewers something to anticipate in your story line and a schedule that works for you.

Remember you are making this AU for you and it's what you want to see come to life. Be proud of the things you create.

[hayjeon]

Practical Tips on getting your fics out there!

I’ve gotten an influx of these types of questions here recently, and the more i thought about what i was gonna add, it became really long :(  

disclaimer: a lot of the things i bring up are just from personal experience as a writer on this site, what my followers have told me they appreciate, and what i tend to look for when im looking for fics to read! If you don’t like these tips then pls move on :) 

although i’ll mention them, i’m also not going to be focusing on cliche tips like “write for yourself” or “grammar issues” cause those are pretty obvious!

1. accessibility of your blog 

when you’re trying to get your name out there, make sure that you’re creating an inviting experience for any potential followers! this includes:

a memorable url! be creative!

have some fun designing your blog’s aesthetic! (i love cute blogs because it reflects a bit of the writer’s personality), and (i prefer blogs with white backgrounds because it’s easier to look through/read, say, in contrast to a pitch black one where the words need to be white!) 

put your masterlist link in your bio (even better if you can link most recent fic! found this most helpful when i revisit authors that i like and can easily see if they’ve updated or not)

an organized and easy-to-navigate masterlist (personally, i prefer masterlists organized by band, instead of types of fics ie. i hate when i have to choose between drabbles, oneshots, and series masterlists; i really prefer to see them altogether!) --> see section 3 

organized tags (if you’re going to be posting a lot of non-fic-related content like pictures or videos, tag them properly so followers can sort through and find your fics easily!), or (if you’re going to be writing in different mediums like drabbles, or answering asks, make sure to use a unified #mine or #writing or #fics to centralize your content) 

2. get your name out there!

write write write! once you have some fics that show your talent, don’t be shy! 

join writing groups: when i first started out, I joined a bunch of groups that would reblog my fics in the midst of the content of much bigger writers; these blogs developed a following, and as a result of my content mixing in with bigger blogs’ content, so did my own tumblr! there’s been a stigma recently with these groups, but im sure you can find one thats supportive and not clique-y! 

send your fics to rec pages: what’s the harm? the only bad thing that can happen is that they ignore you! who cares! get out there! 

if you can do the above, i really encourage you to ask your fave writers for advice/to read your fic: again, the worst that can happen is that they say no or don’t respond or don’t have enough time, but it’ll be a good opportunity to get some feedback! i for one read (or try to read) every single rec that falls into my inbox. if i like it, i’ll #rec it, and if i don’t, unless the writer asks me for feedback, i move on!! 

utilize your tags!!: i’m not entirely sure if this is still the same or not, but from my memory, it’s the first 3-5 tags that matter the most? so utilize them well; push back the tags that aren’t really relevant (ie. #writing, #fics) and push more the main subject line of what you wrote (ie. jungkook fluff, bts smut, namjoon angst). these will populate your fics into the tags better!

headers!: when i’m scrolling through an infinite page of fics, the headers catch my eye the most; try being creative! you can find a lot of info out there on how to make ur headers super aesthetic, but i can share my tips too! --> see section 3

3. your masterlist 

here are some practical tips! 

organize by band, not type of fic/member/centralize your masterlist: i went onto a blog recently and clicked their bio mlist link to find a page full of 20~ish “JUNGKOOK MASTERLIST”/ “JAEHYUN MASTERLIST” and when i clicked on each one, they only had like 2 or 3 fics per member. i think it would’ve been better if she’d centralized all her fics! that keeps whoever is looking interested and more likely to click on another fic while browsing

add info about the fics!: when scrolling through a masterlist, it’s easy to get lost; try to add some snippets of info (ie. a short sentence you liked from the fic, a quick summary, a description of the au/scenario, or even a header!) this all gives some info about the fics you have tagged! 

headers: this isn’t a requirement, but i personally love a good header on fics i read and i love making them myself as i finish up a fic and get ready to upload it; here are free sources: unsplash for HQ stock pics, crop/edit/filter in VSCO, and then add aesthetic script with fontcandy) 

try to fill it up!: after i visit a blog after reading one good fic, i usually browse through their mlist to see if there are any more that i’d be interested in. if there’s a lot to look forward to, i’ll almost always follow; try to write as much as you can in the first few months to try and fill up your mlist and give blog viewers a reason to visit your blog again, follow, or even reblog your content!) 

4. try not to reproduce cliche fics: 

honestly tumblr’s writing community (and armys) has grown insanely these past few years and, unfortunately, even from my perspective, in the past 3-4 years, all the writers have sort of become blended together in my brain. but, i can say that the ones who consistently stand out are the ones who produce consistent content and think outside of the box! 

i tend to gravitate towards fics that have really interesting plotlines (ex. btssavedmylifeblr’s VOID is always a surprise to read because it’s sO unique! i usually don’t read ot7 fics but this one is legit my fave) 

I know it’s tempting to try and just write typical smut fics to try and gain some traction, but tumblr is already too overloaded by that kind of content; try to write something that’s special and unique! this will set u apart from the thousands of other writers here --> see next section

5. create unique fics: 

this is also personal to my writing style, but i get so bored writing just casual fics about the members, and it affects the fics i choose to read too; i prefer unique fics which you can achieve through: 

circumstance/au: create a fun au!; don’t just create an arranged marriage, create an arranged marriage in joseon dynasty, or between a werewolf and a hunter! (shameless self plug); don’t just give me friends to lovers, but give me spiderman!jungkook friends to lovers! (ie. cupofteaguk’s exchanges)

jobs: give them out-of-the-ordinary jobs; don’t just give me enemies to lovers, but give me rival!anchors who end up loving eachother! (ie. jimlingss The Newscasters)

fun dialogue: create good back-and-forth, (something i’m still working on!)! this will help your characters develop personality, and that way, readers will start to develop that themselves as well (ie. dad!yoongi from insemination wars by prolixitae is such a specific character that i love so much!, or obiwrites’ garden characters were so memorable!)

create memorable personalities: don’t give me a flat character, try to develop 4d personalities in all of your characters! (im still working on this too!) this way you can really make an impression on your followers! a great way to practice/recognize this is: “Ask my Character.” Can your followers ask a specific character a specific question, and would you be able to deliver an answer that is very specific to that character’s tone/voice/personality? If yes, then ur doing well! If not, try to think of ways that you can make tht specific character from a specific story, really unique and separate from your other characters.

6. some practical writing tips

be yourself, write for your own pleasure, blah blah blah; yeah you know already haha but here are a few more practical tips! 

grammar check: if you can, try and hone your grammar! makes for an easier read 

write like you: i personally LOVE this by obiwrites, but even the way she writes exudes her personality and is so specific; try not to be caught up in adding hundreds of synonyms and exquisite language; in fact, simpling it down and being more concise and honest with your writing is better than a superfluous sentence; this will also give ur characters so much more dimension and funk

use those commas/sentence variation: try to use more commas; this will feel like you’re the narrator to your own story; it also makes it more fluid to read in my opinion, over those short. clipped. sentences. (ie. “he came over, sitting down on the corner of your bed with an expression you’d never seen before” over “he walked over. he sat down, looking sad.”) 

half-half dialogue/narration: a fic with too much dialogue can get confusing, and a fic with too much narration can get dry; try to balance them out, and weave in and out of each! 

quality over quantity: don’t feel burdened to write a 30k word fic. in fact, i think some of the shorter fics (ie. any of versigny’s stuff) made a bigger impression on me over the longer fics because they were short, left me wanting more, and were just so high-quality in such small quantities. try out your hand at drabbles and one-shots, and don’t feel too burdened to try and develop a series right off the bat! 

abandon pigeon-holes: i’m guilty of this; i start series and then end up with no vision for the stories and they end up giving me writers block. its okay. just stop or discontinue them or leave them on a hiatus; it’s okay. your priority is yourself, and if abandoning certain works are part of that, then go ahead. it’ll help you progress more. 

and finally.......

i’ll add more as they come up! but if you liked this, then pls lmk! i’d love to give more tips and tricks; i think i started this blog 3-4 years ago when there weren’t as many writers here, but im glad you’re thinking of starting out/wanting to grow more! don’t feel intimidated! it’s not all about the notes/followers but creating a blog you’re proud of. 

so write what you’re proud of, or interested in, and keep going. i truly thoroughly had so much fun writing this post. if there are any writers who read through this and have some more advice, pls msg me! 

all the best to you! 

[e-vasong]

Can I ask about your writing process?

Huge fan of your TUA fics here - the way you just GET the characters is incredible - its almost like reading a novel written by the actual show writers!

How do you go about your characterisation and your drafting process? Any tips on nailing the complexities of the characters (specifically five)?

Thanks!!!

:') This is literally so nice I don't know how to respond, oh my goodness. I wish I had, like, life-altering writing wisdom for you here, but I honestly feel like my entire process is kind of a mess. I'll share it with you anyways, though, just in case you can glean anything helpful from it. I’ll tuck it below a cut, but here it is (ft. some of my specific characterization notes on Five, since you asked :D).

Pre-draft: Concept stage! This can be a variety of things -- sometimes it's a specific scene. For me it's usually a challenge of some sort. I like to take things that I think are unlikely for a character (under what circumstances would [x] character ever become a bad guy? How would [x] character’s secrets get revealed if they never talk willingly about their emotions?) Then I build out from there. I outline sometimes now, but I’ve been winging all my pieces for so long that it’s pretty tough for me. 

Draft one: Throw things at the wall. If I let myself, I will spend way too long agonizing on making every word perfect on the first go around, and I’ll never write anything. So draft one has permission to be as bad as it needs to be: sentence fragments, OOC dialogue/actions, clunky word choice, the whole nine yards. The most important thing is getting the words/scenes on the page.

Draft two: What sticks? Everyone is different -- I find it easier to edit than to write in the first place. So here’s where I look over my work from draft one. Is my sentence structure variable enough? How are their voices? Their actions? Does the narration work with the POV I’m using for the scene? 

Like, okay. I’m working on chapter two of the end of the war right now. Currently, it includes this line:

“How did you even—” Five starts, then shakes himself.  Absolutely not.  He isn’t entertaining this.  “Luther.”

In retrospect, I’m not wild about it. It doesn’t sound in character to me. I’m not pulling out receipts right now or anything, but the more I think about it, the more that I feel certain that Five rarely expresses surprise unless really shocked. Part of this is likely the contrast between him in his siblings (all the stuff about the Apocalypse and time travel is familiar to him and new to them, so the show has a lot of “Five explains [x] to his siblings while they look flabbergasted by him.”)

Anyways, it doesn’t sit right. So maybe, instead:

Five frowns, taken off guard. He could ask, but--quite frankly--he’s starting to think that he doesn’t want to know. He does, however, know what this is a preface to -- Luther is going to meddle. 

“Luther,” Five says it like a warning. Luther either doesn’t hear it or doesn’t care.

Anyways, rinse and repeat step two as much as necessary, and you basically have my entire drafting process.

Characterization, though, I have a more thorough process for!

Fanon and meta is super, super helpful, but I definitely prefer to look at canon first and foremost. I find it easiest to build characterization by asking myself questions about the character! I mean, don’t get me wrong. The first step is just to...get your own read on their personality? And there’s no trick to that. Everyone comes away from watching a show/reading a book with a slightly different interpretation of a character’s personality. But when building off of that to write them, I find questions helpful. They vary from fandom to fandom, but, like, here are some of the questions I’ve asked myself while writing Five.

What motivates them? For Five, this is a super easy one. He literally says it at multiple points throughout the show. He’s motivated by his family. To the point of wanting to save the world because they’re a part of it. Five troops through injury and pain and discomfort, but one reference from Handler about a deal to save his family is enough to coerce Five into 1 - working with her when he doesn’t want to and 2 - taking a job that he doesn’t seem like he wants to take.

How far are they willing to go to get it? For Five, he’s willing to do pretty much anything.

Are there any contradictions in their characterization? This is a weirdly specific question, but! People are inherently contradictory. Sometimes in TV or movies or books, it’s just bad writing. But sometimes it’s because people are complicated. So, in TUA, Five is consistently a big-picture thinker throughout the series. He seems to view his job at the Commission with apathy because he knows that it’s part of maintaining the timeline and necessary for him to get back home and stop the Apocalypse. He plans to kill an innocent person because he believes the butterfly effect of their death could stop the end of the world. He is, in many ways, a utilitarian -- the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The greater good sometimes requires a lesser evil. Pull the lever in the trolley problem, and kill the one to save the five. Unless that one is one of Five’s siblings. 

For instance, his dialogue with the Handler in season one seems to imply that he is willing to give up fighting the Apocalypse if and only if she can guarantee his siblings’ safety (though this admittedly turns on how honest you think he was being with her -- I think he was honest, but smart enough to know she’d never follow through, but a fair argument can be made either way.) There are a million ways to read this, and the fun of playing with characterization is that you get to experiment with them! I read it as proof that Five is so driven by his desire to save his siblings that he actually places their wellbeing above his own moral compass (whether his moral compass is right or wrong is a whole other debate.)

What are they like at their best vs. at their worst? At his best, Five is strategic, driven, independent, determined, loyal, and protective. At his worst, he’s controlling, suspicious, bloodthirsty, temperamental, and obsessive. Of course, most people don’t just switch between these two extremes, and these traits frequently coexist, interact, and manifest in milder ways.  Five being suspicious usually manifests as him being cautious until he’s confronted with a character (in season two, Lila) that strikes him the wrong way. Him being obsessive is often just a side product of the fact that he is determined, loyal, and protective.  The fact that he can be controlling is connected to how independent he can be -- the same reason that Five tries to keep Diego in the mental hospital, never tells people that he’s injured, and hides things from them is the same reason he’s so quick and effective at getting things done. This is just a handy way of compiling a flaws/virtues list, and I like to look at it in terms of the potential extremes because I think it makes it easier to see how they interact to create the middle ground where the character actually exists.

How do they talk? Arguably the most important question for actually getting their voice, and the easiest way to nail this down is to just...look at the canon dialogue. Does the character use really big words? Do they talk in long gusts or in short, clipped sentences?  Do they use contractions more or do they not shorten things? This is the hardest part of writing Five for me, because my first impulse is to make him talk like an Intellectual (tm) and Very Erudite Adult. Like, I default to that when writing him, and it’s a horrible habit (in my opinion) because...while he does speak that way sometimes (usually when explaining things to his siblings) that’s not actually how he talks most of the time.  (Like, for instance, I tend to default away from Five using contractions in my first drafts of things. He actually uses contractions a lot, and frequently shortens words--”got to” is “gotta” for Five, “because” becomes “‘cause”, etc.) 

Other examples:

Five: Billions of people are about to die tonight. You can change that.

The Handler: Tonight, tomorrow. So little difference in the scheme of things. Don't you remember the Commission's raison d'etre? What's meant to be is meant to be, or, as I like to say, que será, será.

Five: It's bullshit in any language.

I love this exchange so much :D. And it establishes some great things about the way Five talks! He doesn’t dance around the issue or debate her or try and prove her wrong. He just tells her he thinks that that opinion is dumb, obviously.  He’s blunt, straightforward, and honest. (This seems to tie into the thing I was saying about Five and contractions -- he picks the most straightforward way of saying things unless he’s giving a technical explanation.)

Five: Okay, Luther, but be careful. I mean, I've... I've lived a long life, but you're still a young man. You got your whole life ahead of you. Don't waste it.

Five talks like an old man. Not all the time (though there’s a wonderful gif set out there somewhere of Five using old timer slang -- wait, I found it here.) He doesn’t use the old-timey slang all the time -- and I personally like the idea of mixing up Five’s slang habits and including slang from all sorts of eras because he’s a time traveler whose primary source of interaction after four decades alone was other time traveling assassins. But! He also talks in a way where he shows his age. 

Regardless of where you think Five’s psychological age falls (I have my own Opinions on this), he seems to unilaterally view himself as the Big Sibling, and by a very large margin at that. That’s reflected in how he talks. Not always, since not every line of dialogue is relevant to his age. But stuff like this, or related to it, crops up a fair amount. He counsels his siblings on their problems (as when he comforted Diego post-Eudora’s death), and there are little moments like the quote above, where the point is that Five has indeed seen many more years than his siblings and has the perspective to reflect that.

Well, this is way too long now, and it’s really late where I’m at. I feel like the comprehensibility of this post has been steadily declining the whole time, but if other writers have tips that they want to add onto this, please go ahead! 

[peach-pops]

hi emma!! im a big fan of your work and have just started my own writing blog. i was wondering if you have any fun and fresh tips for a newbie?? ps i always feel so fuzzy when i read your works bc the way you characterize makes my heart doki doki

thank you so much for reaching out to me! it means a lot that you’ve read my work and actually like it?? still so insane to me but congrats on making a writing blog are you excited!!! i remember being so anxious at first but don’t worry you got this! if you ever want me to find your blog, let me know!

here’s some tips that have helped me!

when you’re first starting out, don’t feel discouraged if your work isn’t getting as much notes/attention you hope for. Sometimes new blogs don’t get as much traffic through but the more content you post, more people will find your works! 

sometimes, you can judge a book by its cover and this is the same with blog aesthetics. having an aesthetically pleasing blog that is organized is not only more convenient for your followers, but also for you when you need to find specific things. this includes making a masterlist, rules page, etc. in your bio! here’s how to put them in your bio! 

with an “aesthetic blog” it really is up to you how you want to start it. colors?fonts?background image?icon?is the genre of what you’re writing obvious when someone clicks on your page? 

make sure to tag your works accurately while being broad at the same time. for example, when i write haikyuu x reader, i take into account that for the most part, putting haikyuu scenario, haikyuu headcanon, haikyuu imagine, etc. can all be listed under a normal haikyuu x reader. just make sure if your work is nsfw, tag it as such and if it isn’t, it’s best not to label it as a ___ smut/____ nsfw. 

don’t be shy to make friends or become mutuals! if this is a lil nerve wracking, you could always start by reblogging their work, leaving comments about their work, etc. so that way they can also visit your page and get a conversation going. mutuals aren’t required but it makes writing and tumblr so much more fun when you have someone to fangirl with and they could even help you with ideas! 

there are fun ways to keep your followers engaged and active! you could do sleepover events as a creative way to get to know your followers as they get to know you! writing and getting your work out there is always a plus but getting to know the people who enjoy your blog is even more rewarding. 

writers block sucks and yes it will happen to you. there will be days where you want to write and show your followers how hard you’ve worked on something but you either have no motivation or zero ideas. what always helps me is going on youtube to watch movie clips that include funny dialogue or interesting conversations to get my mind juices flowing! but just know that writers block is normal, find ideas through television, books, social media, or even just take a long break and separate yourself from writing for a bit! 

if you have requests open, don’t pressure yourself to write every single one. it’s YOUR blog! write what you want to write. a helpful thing i always remember is “write what you want to READ”. never be discouraged by using cliches or overused tropes cause there are so many people like me who will read them over and over again without a care in the world! 

Those are some of my main and basic ones! let me know if you have any other questions!!! I’ve also included some websites that have helped me when I write:

podomoro timer: a time management method that uses a customizable timer to break down works into a set of intervals separated by breaks. helps me a lot when i have writers block and i force myself to sit down and write something- also works for school work. 

words to use instead of said: title speaks for itself but this website is categorized by moods/emotions like words associated with persuasion, disgust, fear etc. nothing wrong with using said a lot but i know when i write, i like changing it up a bit! 

canvas for banner:  i made my background header and post headers (masterlist, about me, rules etc.) all on canvas! i never pay for it i download a less hd version to save money but if you want to pay for it, it isn’t too pricey! i use the “colorful minimal nature pantone calendar” for banners but i just delete the dates/months and i customize the rest. 

descriptionari: whenever i have terrible writers block or struggle with writing about the five senses, i type different/random writing ideas within the search bar and read ideas of how others have written ideas. an example would be “a rainy day” or “pleasant smell”. this is not a method to plagiarize! this is only for getting a grasp of what others write when you think of a certain word or phrase!

[socksual-innuendos]

Fallout OC Companion Meme

Ok so I’m redoing this and adding perks and personal quests. General is up top, companion quest is under cut.

Name: Emilia Vazquez

Location: Atomic Wrangler

Emilia can be hired as a companion after completing the side quest “Strangers in the Fight”

(art by @courierspikeee​)

Companion Wheel

I think we should travel together: “Oh, you really want me to come along? No promises I’ll behave.”

Use Melee: “So you want to see an old lady get her ass beat. Haha, so would I.”

Use Ranged: “Don’t worry if I disappear, you don’t have to see me to know I’m still around.” /  “Good idea, the further I am the better I work.”

Open Inventory: “Ayayay! Use your own pockets and don’t bum off me!” / “Ah, the Lord has blessed me with a companion that will carry my shit for me— no? Well, worth a try.”

Stay Close: “Trust me, you do not want me up your ass”

Keep Distance: “Listen, whatever you’re smelling, it wasn’t me”

Stealth: “Aah, my specialty.”

Back Up: “Oh? You want to stand here? Fine.” / “My knee only works in so many directions, mijo/a”

Be Passive: “Your call, but when things get hairy I’m doing best for me.” / “If I hear shots, I will start shooting. Never doubt this.”

Be Aggressive: “Shoot them before they shoot us? That’s the most sound thing I’ve heard from you.” / “Good, they’ll be dead before they even know we’re there.”

Use Stimpack: “You ever need anything stronger, hahaha, you let me know...” // “Aaah...I could use another of those.”

Wait Here: “If that’s what you want. No promises I’ll still be here when you come back.” // “If I bore you, just say so.”

Follow Me: “Oh so now you want me back.”

Send her to the Lucky 38: “Perfecto. I’ve been wanting a shower.”

Send her Home: “Alright, you know where to find me.” (can be found in the atomic wrangler)

Injured: “Aagh, my other knee—!” / “I’m not getting paid enough for this...”

Death: (before personal quest) “I can’t...not yet...” / “Aaah, sorry Camila.” -- (after personal quest) “Always knew I’d die on the job—“ / “Mi renacuajita— mama will see you soon.”

Aggression: aggressive

Confidence: brave/foolhardy

Assistance: helps friends and allies

Perks

Like the other companions, Emilia has a starting perk that is replaced by another depending on how the player completes her personal quest.

Desierto salvajísimo: Weird things happen in the desert and with Emilia by your side they just got weirder! Something was definitely in that peyote...(Compounds on Wild Wasteland perk.)

Should the courier convince Emilia to apologize to her sister, she will gain Thy Brother’s Keeper perk.

Thy Brother’s Keeper: When the player falls below half health, Emilia will prioritize enemies around the player and gain a 25% damage increase.

If the courier convinces Emilia to let go of her sister, she will gain the Gone Rogue perk.

Gone Rogue: Stealth kills now do 25% more damage and enemies lose interest faster while sneaking. 

Drops

El Silbón - Emilia’s sniper rifle. Unscoped shots have a 25% increase to critical chance.

Tattered Journal - A small journal that contains memoirs and recipes. Who is it for?

Froggy Grenades - Smoke bombs painted to look like frogs. Activating them will halve the chance of limbs being crippled and lower time it takes for enemies to lose sight of the user.

Quests and Recruitment

Strangers in the Fight

“You’ve been tipped off about an assassination that is suppose to happen tonight at The Aces. You aren’t sure who the mark is, but you’d gain some reputation and caps if you prevented their death.”

The courier can approach this quest in two ways. Either they hunt down the assassin or figure out who the mark is and warn them. Should the courier try and hunt down the assassin, they will be knocked unconscious backstage and fail the quest. Should they chose to investigate and warn the mark, the mark will thank them and leave The Aces that night. Later, the courier can find the mark dead in an alley the morning after they complete the quest. In either case, the quest will complete and the next time the courier enters the Atomic Wrangler they will find Emilia. Walking close enough to her will trigger an audio clip where she drunkenly berates the courier for causing trouble ‘the other night’. 

Talking to her will give the courier a few options of dealing with her. Without perks, the courier can initiate dialogue that will lead to either recruitment or casual conversation. Recruiting can be done in two ways, either the courier can hire her for 300 caps or pass a speech check of 55. Passing the speech check makes her a permanent companion and allows the courier to access her personal quest, while hiring must be repeated if the courier dismisses her. If her health drops too low while on the road, she will dismiss herself and return to the Wrangler. If the courier has the terrifying presence perk, they can start a bar fight with Emilia in which killing her will not net a large loss in karma.

When she is recruited as a permanent companion her personal quest becomes accessible. To trigger it, the courier must complete quests for the ghoul Camila found in The Aces. The quests can be completed prior to recruiting her, but they must be completed to Camila’s approval. Once Emilia is recruited, a new quest from Camila will be available. Completing it requires Emilia to be in your party and when turning it in Camila will comment how her sister “Can’t seem to stop looming” and needs to let her “find her own way”. She will request that the courier doesn’t bring her around the Tops again, but thank them for their time. Officially, this is the start to Emilia’s personal quest.

 A Tale of Two Sisters

“It seems as though Emilia is experiencing some family troubles. She’s not the type to open up about things, but if you travel with her she may let details slip. Keep her in your party and don’t push things.”

To do Emilia’s quest, the courier must keep her in their party when completing certain quests around the Mojave. Quests do not have a specific order to be completed in, however turning them in before acquiring Emilia as a companion will lock out completing her personal quest.

In Memoriam

“Elaine and her family are survivors from a Legion raid. Lately her eldest son has been closed off and she’s worried it’s because they left his father’s possessions behind while evacuating. Head down south to their old farm and see if you can find anything to bring back.”

Within the Bitter Springs camp a refugee named Elaine can be found. Talking to her reveals that she is worried about her son, who has been closed off since they evacuated their ranch. She says although their family was lucky enough to get away in one piece, she had lost her husband a few years prior. Their son was particularly close to him and he would often ‘talk’ to him after his passing. Since coming to Bitter Springs, those talks have lessened and he’s grown more distant. She suspects that their abrupt move caused some disconnect. Go down to what remains of their ranch and find something of her husband’s to bring back.

Heading southeast of Novac, the courier will eventually find a pillaged farmhouse. Going inside, the courier can pick up either a journal, a pocket knife, or a charred Dinky Dinosaur. Taking any will complete the objective, but each gives a slightly different dialogue when returning to Elaine. She will explain the value behind each item and thank the courier for their help. The quest will complete but to trigger the dialogue with Emilia, the courier must talk to Elaine’s son. He will recognize the courier and thank them, opening more dialogue options to talk about his father. Completing all dialogue paths and then talking to Emilia will allow her to comment on the boy’s outlook of grief. She will chastise how freely he talks about his father to the strangers, saying that loss can’t be fixed by just remembering someone and how it isn’t worth upsetting oneself again. The courier can respond to her in two major ways. They can either agree with her, saying that repressing grief is the only way to reign it in or they can try to convince her that closure sometimes requires vulnerability. 

Take Us Back

“Change is nature. Some accept what life hands them, while others push back.”

Take Us Back can be a quest obtained by talking to a server named Charlie in the Ultra Lux. When talked to, the Courier can chose a dialogue path where she will tell them that she heard the news about Primm and that she is glad the town is now safe. Talking with her more, she will confess that she is worried about a friend who lives in Primm and that she has yet to hear from her since the attack. The Courier can then offer the check up on them, to which Charlie will express surprise that they would be willing to be so charitable with their help. The Courier can say they are either happy to help, or that they weren’t intending on doing this for free. Charlie accepts either option, and the Courier receives the quest Take Us Back.

The quest will take the Courier to Primm where they will meet Atta and her wife. The Courier can tell Atta about Charlie and her concern, to which Atta will say that she intended on sending a letter but that she had missed the last courier that came into town. She will be grateful for Charlie’s concern and that the Courier came to check up on them. Atta will then ask that the Courier take her letter back to Charlie, and will give them a small amount of caps for their trouble. The Courier can then pass a barter check to get more caps from Atta. If the Courier talks to Emi after this exchange, she will sarcastically mention how sweet it is that the Courier is passing notes around in class.

Upon returning to Charlie, she will read Atta’s letter and grow annoyed while reading. The Courier can then inquire as to what is upsetting Charlie. and Charlie will then bitterly remark that Atta always mentions her spouse, how those two are inseparable, and that it is the spouse’s fault that Atta moved to Primm. The Courier can then tell Charlie she needs to reevaluate herself and to pay up which will end the quest, or they can pry further. If asked, Charlie will admit how much things changed since Atta met her spouse, and that she has always been bitter at being second place since. She will then make a comment about how if she could get rid of the spouse, things might go back to how they were. The Courier can ask how serious she is about that comment, and she will mention that if she could find an assassin, she’d be very serious. The Courier then has the option to accept her offer, or lie and pretend to accept her offer. 

If the Courier chooses to lie, they are given the option to tell Atta about the plan. Although she will not believe it at first, the Courier can pass a small speech check that allows them to convince her. She will be shocked, but thank the Courier for warning her. If the Courier takes the job they can kill Atta’s spouse anyway they chose so long as they do not get caught and do not kill Atta. Either choice requires the Courier to return to Charlie and tell her what they have done. Both choices lead to Atta sending Charlie a letter, though what is said will differ.

If the Courier decided to tell Atta, her letter will tell Charlie to never contact her again, and Charlie will become angry at the Courier for lying. Whatever the Courier says, Charlie will remain angry, and tell them to leave. After, if the Courier talks to Emi, she will joke that Charlie had it coming for being so trusting of strangers and that she should have been smarter about interfering with others’ lives. The Courier can either agree, which will end the conversation with Emilia laughing, or they can explain that people have lives outside of others and that should be respected. 

Should the Courier follow through with the assassination, Atta’s letter will tell Charlie about her loss, and that she is considering coming to stay with her a while after funeral preparations are made. Charlie will thank the Courier, saying how glad she is that things will go back to normal after this. The Courier can talk to Emi afterwards, and she will make a comment about how she’s seen similar scenarios in the past, and that they never work. If the Courier asks what she means, she will say that murder can be a tool to fix things, but often its just a wrench being thrown at a broken water pipe. She will then say that she can’t blame Charlie for feeling the way she did, that she too understands what it feels like to have someone slip away, but she will be critical of how Charlie handled the situation saying that its better to prevent change before it happens as once it does things hardly return to how they were.

Friends Like These

“Problems don’t have to be dealt with alone. In times like these, it is nice to have friends.”

This quest requires that the Courier has taken Raul through his personal quest. It doesn’t matter which path Raul took so long as Old School Ghoul is completed. Travelling with Emi for a while after completing either Take Us Back or In Memorium will trigger her to talk to the Courier. She will say that she’s enjoyed their company despite not being fond of companions and will mention how travelling has been her entire life. She will then go to say how things seem to be coming to a slow in her life but that she isn’t quite ready to retire yet, and the thought of such an abrupt change leaves her anxious. Emilia will then joke, asking if the Courier could ever see her living a mellowed life, and the conversation will end. 

Later, with Emilia as a companion, if the Courier talks with Raul a dialogue option mentioning a friend will appear. Choosing this the Courier will tell Raul about Emilia and he will joke about the introduction, asking what brought it up. The Courier can say that they thought those two would get along, and Raul will make a few more jokes. Ending the dialogue here will progress the quest, though a few more options will be present. After, Emi will comment on the introduction, joking that she can find her own hookups. The Courier can then say that if she is worried over retirement, to talk to Raul. She will consider this, and thank the Courier for remembering their conversation. After a time, Emilia will talk to them, again thanking the Courier for introducing her to Raul. 

Completing a Tale of Two Sisters

Once the courier has completed the three quests, Emilia will ask to talk with them. If the courier accepts, she will inquire about them, asking if they’ve ever been responsible for someone before. The courier can say yes, no, or that they don’t remember, and Emilia’s response will depend on what is chosen. Ultimately she will come back to asking the courier what they thought of if they weren’t needed or wanted. The courier can ask if this is about her sister, and Emilia will get defensive, but confirm that is who she’s referring to. The courier can ask for details, and Emilia will tell them how she has been responsible for Camila’s well being for most of her life but recently she has been asserting her independence more and more. Emilia confesses that while she knows her sister will have to survive without her and is glad that she is finding her own way, she herself feels lost. The courier can then pry more, and Emilia will admit to expressing her frustrations through anger at her sister and that this is causing the strain on their relationship. If the courier tells her to apologize, Emilia will get defensive and end the conversation, but if they say that perhaps their relationship is coming to an end, Emilia will sadly acknowledge it and ask to be left alone. Later, regardless of what was picked, Emilia will ask the courier if they meant what they said. The courier can either say yes or change their answer. If the courier confirms that they think she should apologize Emilia will thank them, saying that she will need to think more on what to say to her sister. If the courier reassures her that all relationships eventually see a close and that this might mark the end for theirs, she will reluctantly agree with them and say that she needs some time to come to accept this. 

Depending on what the courier chose, Emilia will gain a new perk. If the courier tells her to apologize, Emilia will gain Thy Brother’s Keeper perk. Later, the courier can talk to Camila in The Aces and she will thank them for their help, saying that she’s ready for both of them to start healing. If the courier tells Emilia to let her sister go, she will gain the Gone Rogue perk. Camila will not be in her usual spot in The Aces after this and if the courier asks Tommy Torini about her, he will mention that she has asked for time off. 

El Silbón

“Legend tells of a lost spirit who wanders the world searching for revenge. His presence is only announced by a whistle.”

Upon killing Camila, the courier receives this quest with no map marker. If the courier had Emilia in party while attacking her sister, she permanently leaves the courier and can no longer be found at The Wrangle. For the rest of the game, the courier is being hunted. Emilia becomes a hostile random encounter that does not make herself known aside from a quiet whistle before she attacks. She will not stop attacking until the courier is either dead or they drop her health below 2/3, in which she will drop a smoke bomb and disappear. Emilia will continue to hunt the courier down until she is dead. Hiring a companion will lower her encounter rate, however if she is aggroed by more than one NPC she will try to escape. Upon killing Emilia, she will have three special items on her possession and two randomized chems. Her special items are her sniper rifle (El Silbón), a Tattered Journal, and Froggy Grenades.

Ending Slides

If Emilia dies (and El Silbón is not activated)

The life that had claimed so many had finally met its end, but for all Emilia’s infamy there was still one who mourned her. Camila grieved for her sister and all the things that were left unsaid between them but, refusing to let loss consume her, continued singing at The Aces. 

If Camila is killed (and Emilia is not killed in El Silbón)

The Wasteland doesn’t discriminate in which lives it takes, and neither did the Courier. Camila, killed within the safety of New Vegas walls, left behind a distraught sister. Unable to handle the loss of her only remaining family, Emilia was overtaken by grief. She squandered what caps she had at the Wrangler and when her debts became too much to repay she was found overdosed in a Freeside alley.

If Emilia is killed in El Silbón

With nothing else to live for, Emilia hunted the Courier down. The murder of her sister was a trespass to be repaid in kind, but the assassin was not invincible. Unable to best the Courier, Emilia fell in battle. For all her anger and pain, she could finally find peace in death.

If Emilia’s personal quest is never completed

Despite all that the sisters had been through, New Vegas had strained their relationship like none before. Camila, though wishing to assert her independence, could not shake the control her sister had on her life. Once their business in the Mojave had been completed, Emilia left the Courier’s company, uprooting her sister once again to wander the Wastes. Although she had once held hope for a future, Camila no longer felt that ambition and remained silently by her sister’s side.

If the Courier sides with Legion and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Seeing that the Mojave was no longer safe, Emilia uprooted her sister one last time. Fleeing north, then east, Emilia’s age caught up to her when the pair reached Indiana. Still determined to keep her sister safe, she pushed on further until they reached the Ohio-West Virginia border where the two were then ambushed by raiders. Overwhelmed by their numbers and worn from her travels, Emilia fell in battle with her sister following suit.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

Despite the courier’s words that their paths were diverging, Emilia would not let her sister remain in New Vegas when the Legion took the Dam. Uprooting her once more, Emilia led her sister north, then east. Determined to not be controlled by her sibling any longer, Camila fled when the pair reached Minnesota. With her age catching up to her, Emilia was unable to track her sister down. Camila had finally found her freedom.

If the Courier sides with NCR and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Although NCR occupation of Vegas did not sit well with Emilia, it assured that her sister would remain safe. While Camila would go on to be a beloved addition to The Aces, Emilia’s infamy grew with the NCR forcing her off The Strip. Undeterred by her bounty, the assassin would often sneak back into Vegas to enjoy the night life, frequenting The Tops to hear her sister sing. 

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

Although NCR occupation of Vegas did not sit well with Emilia, it assured that her sister would remain safe. Employed at The Aces, Camila was able to support herself and was a welcomed addition to The Tops. Taking the Courier’s words to heart, Emilia slipped out of her sister’s life, allowing her the independence she so desired.

If the Courier sides with House and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

With Vegas safe from either NCR or Legion influence, the sisters could focus on resolving things between them. Emi, realizing how much independence meant to her sister, finally eased the grip she had on her life. The two were able to come to an understanding and for the time being the pair could call Vegas home.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

With NCR and Legion no longer a threat on Vegas, Emilia could finally take the Courier’s words to heart and slip from Camila’s life. Although no longer side by side, the sisters both remained in Vegas. Camila continued singing at the Tops while Emilia continued her work and havoc in Freeside. While Camila grew to be a beloved addition to The Aces, Emi went on to grow infamous, leading her to being incarcerated several times.

If the Courier makes New Vegas independent and...

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her to make up with her sister

Along side New Vegas, Camila celebrated her own independence. Now free to follow her own path she became a beloved addition to The Aces. Emilia, though still afraid of what the future would hold for them, proudly watched as her sister blossomed. For the two siblings, Vegas could be called a home.

Completes Emilia’s quest, telling her that she and her sister should part ways

With Vegas free to rule itself, Camila continued her career at The Tops.  While happy for her sister, Emilia took the Courier’s words to heart and removed her presence. But, no matter how far she traveled Emilia would find herself back on The Strip, sitting in the crowd at The Aces listening to her sister sing.

[ckret2]

how tf do u write sir pen and alastor

Step one: rewatch this and this a million times specifically to focus on how they talk—the way they emphasize words, the cadence and flow of their sentences, pace, sound effects, mood, pitch, tone, etc.

Step two: reread their lines here or here (each one handles the transcript a little bit different—the first one is more comprehensive, the second one more objective, and they disagree on a few words) so that you can more fully absorb things like their vocabulary, length and complexity of sentences, etc.

Step three: keep those pages open constantly so that every couple paragraphs you can refer back to those pages to refresh their voices in your head when you get nervous about drifting too far off the accurate voice of a character who's got less than three total minutes of footage, which will be often.

Now you have their voices in your head.

Step four: Go write their voices!! Here are their voices:

Sir Pentious is pretentious. Alastor sounds like a radio host.

I know, I know, that sounds super obvious.

Sir Pentious will occasionally use vocab & sentence structure that makes him sound old-fashioned and dramatic on par with a parody of a Shakespeare villain. He uses phrases like "[they] dare not hinder [me]" or "the likes of I" or pronouncing "striped" as "stripéd." His vocab isn't wildly complicated—you shouldn't be sending readers running to the dictionary—but nevertheless he sounds intelligent.

Pretend that in his heart he's constantly on the verge of giving a villainous monologue about how his evil plan will let him effortlessly conquer the world, and anything else he's doing—whether it's trying to impress a crush or ordering lunch at a fast food restaurant—is either a practice run for that villainous monologue or a distraction from being able to give it. His casual conversations will have that hint of grandiosity. He's going to be mildly irritated at anything that undercuts his grandiosity—it doesn't have enough style, doesn't have enough class. He'll jump on opportunities to gloat, to talk about his goals & plans, to talk down his enemies—to try to make himself sound good, basically.

And—this is super important—remember that he thinks he's evil and is proud of it. He's not one of those villains who believes he has a just or justifiable cause. He's also not one of those villains who is villainous out of spite/anger/vengeance. He says that he is evil and he is gleeful about it. Don't feel the need to give him sympathetic/understandable/justifiable motives for his actions, because he doesn't think he has any and he doesn't care. He's power-hungry and he's bad and he's having fun. He embraces it. Embrace it when you write him.

Alastor is 100% performative at all times. Imagine that at every moment he's speaking he sees himself as a radio talk show host sitting behind his desk with a packed studio audience and the knowledge that thousands more people are listening live. He's animated and exuberant because he's trying his damnedest at all times to be an entertaining host for that imaginary audience. That's his job: put on a good show for the audience.

So every comment is snappy and interesting, he always sounds upbeat and energetic. When he talks about himself and his own emotions, it never sounds confessional, intimate, or sincere; even if he's talking about something that's genuinely been a heavy psychological weight on him, he doesn't present it like that. He presents it like a guest on a talk show telling the host a funny anecdote about his life, or a comedian telling a story to the audience: even if the anecdote is about something miserable, it's presented as an interesting/entertaining story for the consumption of the audience.

(See: the jokey way he says, "Hahaha, why does anyone do anything? Sheer! Absolute! BOREDOM!" The woe-is-me faux drama when he says "My work became mundane, lacking focus, aimless!" Those straight up sound like two depression symptoms. His voice does not sound depressed.)

So he speaks in anecdotes, one-liners, punchy comments. There's going to be very little "uh-huh" or "mm-hmm" or grunts or sighs or other such wordless sounds—everything he says is going to sound crisp and carefully enunciated for the audience at home trying to listen in over the radio.

(And you can play with that as appropriate: I have his performativeness go down when he's having an actual intimate sincere moment, and I have it crank up wildly when he's uncomfortable, secretive, feeling vulnerable, etc., and he wants to hide that.)

Step five: remember their weird speech quirks!

Hiss! Sir Pentious has got his hiss. Now, listen to me very carefully: if choossse to write Sssir Pentiousss'sss ssspeech ssso that every sssingle sssibilant isss emphasssized jussst like ssso, I ssshall sssneak into your houssse in the middle of the night with a Sssharpie and ssscribble an angry faccce on your forehead.

This is the best essay I have ever read on writing accents. And one of the most important points in it is: don't misspell every word to phonetically match how the character sounds, because it's incomprehensible, silly, and gives readers headaches. That applies to Sir Pentious's hiss.

Now, I feel like you can give him SOME hissing. If there's a word or phrase HE's trying to emphasize—if he's talking Extra Fancy, or if he's spitting an insult at someone, or if he's just being more pretentious than usual. Example: if a hero sneaks into a villain's lair and the villain captures them, the villain might sarcastically say "so nice of you to join us!" When I hear Sir Pentious giving that line I hear his voice jump up on the first word, "so nice of you to join us!" So I could write that as "ssso nice of you to join us!" for that extra emphasis. I wouldn't write it as "ssso niccce of you to join usss!"

Also: you can just not write his hiss at all. That's valid, we'll still hear it in our heads. I don't write his hiss when I'm writing inside of his perspective because he doesn't hear himself doing it.

If you DO write his hiss though, remember that it's not just on the S's. Sometimes he over-emphasizes his H's as well or inserts them where they don't belong. ("hhell will be mine, h'and everyone will know the name of Sir—") That's harder to naturally write into dialogue than the S's, but if you're looking out for opportunities you might naturally stumble across one or two. At least remember to carry the hissed H's in your head.

Radio sounds! Alastor's dialogue is loaded down with radio sound effects—studio audience applause (and different kinds of applause for "applauding a stellar performance" versus "welcoming a guest onto the show"), studio audience laughter, little trumpet sounds, snatches of music, xylophone scales, telegram beeps, drum rolls, the screams of the damned—you know, normal things you might hear on the radio. And less clear things too: a thousand different static sounds, muffled voices like you might hear when passing through stations and getting near but not actually on the right station, garbled humming, little second-long clips of songs he heard earlier.

You don't want to CONSTANTLY talk about the sound effects he's making; but like, also, constantly talk about the sound effects he's making. Strike a balance. Good luck.

Get familiar with sound effects—listen to the radio and pay attention to the sound effects used in bumper messages, listen to the sounds in old game shows, listen to radio dramas, find guides by people who work on sound effects for radio and see what they do, browse sound effect sites to see what kind of categories are listed and that people look for. Alastor shouldn't sound like a radio drama, but you can steal sounds from that. If you can hear a sound but aren't sure what to call it, try looking up lists of similar sound effects for sale and just look at what terms they use in the file names to describe the sounds. (Obviously you don't want to buy a $50 folder containing 500 radio sound effects, but oftentimes you can still see the names of the files.)

And—again, from that essay I linked earlier—the characters don't complain about each other's voices in canon. If someone's going to comment on Alastor's radio noises, there has to be a good reason for it, because it's a divergence from the norm. (Like, I have Sir Pentious commenting on and asking questions about Alastor's radio sounds to show he's curious about/interested in Alastor and how his abilities work on a deeper level than just "oh yeah of course the radio demon makes radio sounds" and to show that he's absolutely not too intimidated by him to risk annoying him—and that's intended as a deliberate exception from the norm, to the extent that Alastor comments on it once.)

Musical numbers! Occasionally Alastor will burst into song. Unless you're desperate to try your hand as a lyricist, I recommend against actually writing full songs for him, for this reason: when we see Alastor's full song in the pilot, it sounds like he's singing, because he is and we can hear it. When we see a full song in a book or a fic, it sounds like somebody's reciting poetry, because we don't know the tune and we can't hear the song in our heads. And "giving a poetry recital" is a very different vibe from "singing a song."

What I do to get around this is, when I think Alastor oughta be singing, I just take a song that actually exists and have him sing that one, and then I can fling the link at readers. Go get familiar with pre-1933 popular songs. I recommend vaudeville and musical theater as easy sources to draw from because it more often tends to be snappy, energetic, and oftentimes humorous, which fits Alastor's vibe. I also don't quote the entire song, just a couple of relevant lines—so that within the fic itself it comes across like dialogue rather than like a poetry recital. If you HAVE to include the whole song, mix it in with actions, description, narration, etc, so that it can still be read as dialogue rather than like a solid block of poetry. He's not just standing in one spot unmoving while he sings, is he? No of course not, he's Alastor. Have him dance and do dumb stuff.

Step six: remember their weird accessories, mention them from time to time.

One of the streams that I don't feel like digging up says that Sir Pentious's hat's facial expressions mirror whatever Sir Pent is currently feeling, even if Sir Pent's own expression is less honest to his true feelings. Personally, I go with that—his hat is always showing his genuine emotions—unless it's off his head, in which case it can have its own separate emotions for a moment (such as: reacting to the fact that it's fallen off its owners head). It's completely psychically connected to him and so it's never going to have a separate/independent reaction to what's goin on, just mirror Sir Pent's. There are other ways to headcanon his hat and so other ways to write his hat but that's the way I do it.

Alastor's microphone cane occasionally talk. In the show we see it do that when Alastor specifically prompts it. We don't know if the cane is its own person or if it's more like a magic ventriloquist doll Alastor talks through in order to banter with himself. I treat it as like, 1/2 a person: it's a direct extension of Alastor, and it's got some low-level intelligence, but like intelligence on the level of a chat bot programmed to try to have conversations with people but that doesn't really think for itself. Since it's an extension of Alastor it doesn't really have any thoughts/knowledge that he doesn't, but it's got a slightly snippier/crankier personality, and it might on very rare occasions say things that Alastor like, knows on a subconscious/instinctive level but is consciously denying. Its primary function is to give Alastor the reply he's looking for when he says something he wants a reply to, or to set him up for a snappy one-liner he wants to make but is unable to make unless someone else says JUST the right thing first. Again, there are other ways to headcanon/write his cane, but that's the way I do it.

Also Alastor has living shadows, one of which might be his own shadow, but like, I always forget about them so I don't do anything with them. It's fine it's cool it only shows up during musical numbers anyway.

Step seven: remember their body language.

Sir Pentious's overall body language is, unsurprisingly, pretty serpentine—he's got some wiggles, he's got some dramatic bends that show off his flexibility—and also rather elegant, or at least making a show of looking elegant. At least when he's busy posing in between doing actual work. And he likes playing with his bow tie.

Alastor's gestures are big and theatrical and his arms are always going everywhere.

However, that's not the part of their body language I want to talk about! That's the normal stuff! I'm here for the weird stuff!

Hood! Sir Pentious's hood is basically always flaring out and flattening down and flaring out and flattening down. (And I do headcanon it as a hood—just fraying along the bottom—not as hair. Every time I see fanart that treats it as hair and they braid it or put it up in a bun or whatever I have a moment where I picture his hood shredded up the length into strips and go "OH GOD, OH GOD.") Like, do not constantly describe every single time his hood flares, because it's every five seconds. But don't leave it out by any means. Pick important moments. Make sure it actually adds to the scene.

Eyes! In canon there's a few shots where we can see that Sir Pent's many many eyes move and blink, and they ten to look toward whatever Sir Pent is focused on. It seems likely that they work. If you want to say they work you totally can. I say they work. If you're gonna say they work, keep in mind what kind of field of view that gives him, and keep in mind what you can do with that knowledge. Like, if he's sitting at a dinner table with someone to discuss some kind of skeevy underground business deal and the other person slowly pulls out a gun under the table and points it at him, he's going to see that gun with his knee-height eyes and be able to kick that dude's whole chair over with his tail. 

Smile! Alastor's single most defining character trait is the fact that he's always smiling. The terrified sinners that named him the Radio Demon should've named him Smiley McSmiles. Therefore, there is no need to tell readers that he's smiling. They'll be like, "of course he's smiling. He's Alastor. We're not stupid." However, it's a good idea to mention from time to time that he's smiling, because like, Alastor's single most defining character trait is the fact that he's always smiling. And when it's that constant, it helps to occasionally bring it up to like, maintain that continuity, maintain that sense of the fact that his smile is always there. So you've gotta strike that balance between "don't just keep telling the readers that Alastor is still smiling because you don't need to tell them that" and "mention his smile from time to time." The way I do that is like, mentioning his smile in conjunction with other things, usually as an indication of his mood. Whereas with other characters you'd show changes in their expression by going "he smiled," "he frowned," "he grimaced in disgust," with Alastor you'd say like "his perpetual smile stretched wider into a more genuine one" or "he pressed his lips together as his smile thinned" or "he fought to keep smiling through the disgust"—that way, you're not telling readers that Alastor is smiling, it's something you're mentioning in the process of telling readers something different and more important about his mood.

Step seven: remember this ain't TV. Keep in mind the difference between how they sound when they’re talking out loud on screen and how they’ll sound when they’re just text in a fic.

To get their voice across, you might have to exaggerate some things in written dialogue that you wouldn’t in spoken dialogue. For instance, Sir Pentious doesn’t always have vocab that makes him sound like a pretentious, sophisticated supervillain. Sometimes he says “No other demon can compare to the likes of I!” but then sometimes he says “You wanna go, missy?” When he says that the latter line in the show, he still sounds pretentious, because his VA is still using his pretentious-sounding voice. In writing, there is no voice. Most readers KNOW what his voice sounds like, and if you’re writing close enough to his voice they’ll be able to hear it; but it’s going to be harder for them to hear it if you have him saying words that go against what his voice sounds like and they aren’t actually simultaneously hearing his voice IRL saying those words.

So, while “You wanna go, missy?” works on screen when we can hear the contrast between his voice and the dialogue, if that scene was written instead, it’d be easier to get his voice across with “Do you want to go, missy?” because it still has the unexpected/humorous casualness of “missy” in there but making the rest of the sentence very formal preserves Sir Pent’s pretentious speaking style.

Step eight: keep in mind that the question I'm answering is "how do you write sir pent and alastor," not "how should sir pent and alastor be written," so feel free to toss out anything that doesn't work for you.

[gemstoneconstellations]

I love your fanfics! And I was wondering do you have any tips for original fanfic writing or just writing fics in general?

wow this actually ended up a lot longer than i thought it would, but here we go!

Original fanfics, hmmmmmm....

What I generally do is base things off of my own personal experience. Like all my iida fics are stuff that happened between me and my husband before we got married. Can’t help falling in love fic with bakugo, that was a previous relationship i had (which there is more to that story). Caught with todoroki..... thats how i got out of a ticket with a cop and how i learned that when i half check someone out and half start thinking about what i would do to that fine man in uniform (curse my uniform kink) that i glare/make a suspicious face. and when he confronted me about what i was doing, ready to write some kind of ticket for whatever i was doing wrong, i was so embarrassed that i blurted out that i found him very attractive and what exactly was on my mind and how i wanted to take that uniform off him.... that has happened with a emt too, i missed the green light looking at his bulging biceps after he rolled up his sleeves to write on a clip board.... he waved and i proceeded to squat in my seat and slam my face against the stirring wheel. escape artist cat was actually a dream i had, someone was taking off my cat’s pretty ribbon collars and putting ugly ones on her and i woke up sooooo mad, but i turned that dream into a romance story (reality kuiper was taking her collars off herself cause she was a brat) Stories about yourself, no matter how small you think it is actually has great potential to become a fic.

its also okay to borrow ideas from other forms of media. I do. example, Silk Maiden, based off of  an old batman episode from the early 2000s. its completely okay to do that. I’m not saying copy and paste the exact scenes. Just take the premises and then change it. some examples, like the movie Brave is the Scottish version of Aladdin. the princess who wants to be free and live her life beyond her princess duties needs to get married and she is not having it and wants to change the rules and runs away to find something new. premise is the same but how the story is told is different, one denies every prince and find her own prince in the streets of her kingdom and the other finds a cake that turns her mom into a bear that helps them understand each other and appreciate each other more. a weeb example is isekais. There are sooooo many isekais. japan, Korea, and china are all mass producing isekais right now. the premises are all the same, someone from one world now in another world primarily thanks to magical truck-kun who is probably could be branded as a mass serial killer at this point. I read a lot and i love korean isekai romance novels. I have read an isekai where the character was a villain who then was reincarnated with the memories of her villainous previous life who decided to live her new life by repenting by helping others but guess what? truck-kun came in the form of a airplane crash and she wakes up again in her first life’s preteen body before she became a villain. I’m reading an isekai isekai, author of an isekai met truck-kun and woke up inside the body of one of her characters in her isekai novel. all the same premise but told in a different way. i want to write an isekai for bnha! take a premise and write what you wanted to see happen between those characters if they were in that situation.

same for some fanfics, like you read a fanfic and you like the story that you read but you wished for something more. You like the idea but you wished that it went in this direction or you wanted different  types of interaction, its okay to write your own fic with the same premises. i’ve done that. (side note: but if you are gonna base off of it where a lot of the stuff is the same the give the proper credit where it deserves. no stealing peoples hard work) thats what fanfic was originally made for, fans wanted something more from their favorite works or wants something different (Thank you star trek fandom who started all this). I’ve read a lot of villain deku fics and i was craving a specific type of villain fic where “he really isnt a villain but is one but there is a reason why hes being evil cause it is for the greater good cause of deku’s savior complex and border line martyr complex he’s had since he was a child” with a side of “hero/villain romance”, “surprise quirk” and “badass” and a healthy scoop of “bakugo becomes a better person on his own without deku at UA through the power of friendship cause he has that potential without deku’s constant interference”. no one had what i wanted, so i started writing it myself.

also dont worry about being original. you can write a common idea that everyone sees a thousand times a day, like isekai, and people will love it. focus on how you are telling your story, dont put so much effort in being different. actually, common or typical tropes/ideas help make the story more relatable. two books can be equally as good but one person can like book A over book B because they felt more connected to the characters in it. they could relate to the emotions that were being conveyed. 

now writing tips....hmmmmm well not everything works for everyone but this is what i do

I write notes down, lots of them. I have notebooks full of notes for my fics. some people can just sit there and start writing, but i like notes to keep me on track and remind me of stuff i wanted to add. Writing it down makes it easier not to forget, cause you are just lying to yourself if you think you’ll remember the idea for later. i got dialogue, scenes, plots, random quirk ideas, diagrams, (12) oc profiles, outlines, lists, and a event idea that i have that i want to do some day, all in my notebook. If you are going to write a long fic i strongly encourage that you do this. Outlines are your friend, they are bones of the story Ex:

Hero By Another Name original outline:

meet at a fire, firefighter impresses kiri who will later seek her out

kiri is becoming popular and wants to share the fame

they bond some how(?)

firefighter kiri, kirishima needs to wear a firefighter uniform

firefighter turns out to be a mega fan of red riot

photoshoot

kirishima finds out shes a nerd and is cool with it

firefighter is now popular

camping with baku or bakusquad?

miscommunication

kirishima does a big confession

I always start off with the key things i want for sure to happen. then i start adding to it. I write out the scene i definitely want to see or i can see clearly in my head. i just keep adding to it till its at least three pages long of just outline that has some images, random dialogue i want someone to say or little summaries of the scene i want.

its okay to jump around when you write. there are some parts that you know you need in a story to help it move a long but it can be boring. so i write one scene that i want to happen next and then i think of what needs to happen to get to that point. like how in hero another name where kirishima shows up unannounced to her apartment  and finds out she hoards all his hero merch while not wearing pants.  how do you make that not sound creepy and have kirishima be okay with it? by adding bits of how much of a fan she is through out the story! when they first have dinner together i threw in that red riot shirt to help break the ice and that he would then know that she was a big enough fan to buy his merch and that she admires him and that he is an inspiration for her. then later adding that interview where she talks about how she became his fan shows that she has years of dedication to him as a hero. so when he sees all the merch she has, it would make sense to him that she had all of that and not go “huh, will i be able to leave this place if i enter?”

if you dont know it, look it up. research. i wrote a fic before where the reader was pregnant the entire time, i started at two months to birth. I knew nothing about pregnancy on how it can affect your daily life and what it feels like beyond what health class and child development class taught me. So i looked it up. there is seriously so much that doctors look for during those many ultrasounds cause there are so many things that can affect your health and the baby’s and did you know there is pregnancy diabetes? you can become diabetic only during pregnancy, like after you give birth it can go away or stay, the human body is just tripy. but thanks to that research, people who have had children before left comments going “yessss, i remember feeling that” or “god, this was my sister in this scene, it sucks”. Its that relatability i mentioned before that really helps and it makes the story more believable.

(this is just my personal opinion mainly here feel free to ignore) when it comes to smut, write what you know and not what you fantasize about. im not calling anyone out but i can tell from how someone writes sex that they never had it and they are most likely younger than me. i’ve experimented a lot in my 25 years of life and i find myself going “oh sweetie, thats not how the vagina/anus works” when i read fics sometimes. there are guides online that are very informative and tell you what the feelings are like that you would expect. dont rely on porn too much on how sex works physically, maybe for dialogue. (i think of porn as just live action fanfics for the human mating ritual fandom). its okay to use other smuts as reference tools as well, especially if you dont know anything of the bdsm lifestyle.

beta readers help a lot. if you are unsure of ideas that you have, talk it out with a friend. I sometimes do this for myself or help others with their fics. its actually a lot of fun with a group of people where you just keep shooting off ideas together about stuff and just go all out fangirlling to the point you are rolling on the ground smiling. this can help with writers block or motivate you to keep writing. also having another pair of eyes to look at your fics, not just for corrections but for input on the story can help make it better. someone can see things from a different angle and point stuff out to you, plot holes or things that you can add.

im not sure what else to say other than stuff like format and spacing. sometimes i see people who write too long of paragraphs or there is no clear separation between them. thats killer on the eyes and makes me not want to read at all cause all i see is this wall of text thats just overwhelming. i want to call who ever formatted textbooks cause thats how they do it and it makes it so hard to concentrate on reading and absorbing the info. if i see fics with no clear breaks or long running paragraphs, i usually give up half way cause i just cant do it. its hard to keep track where you are reading and you start trying to focus on it too much that the story is just lost on me. it is hard on people like me who have dyslexia (who ever called it that is just cruel to people who have it cause you can never spell it without spell check and pronouncing it is just ugggh) 

i hope this helps

[kclenhartnovels]

Episode One

Do you have trouble remembering your past, so much that sometimes you wonder if you don’t have one? Do you often feel like your personality is flat, and dependent upon someone else in your life? Do you have a best friend, a lover, or a child that has a unique gift or talent, but lacks the drive to use it properly? Are you something other than a straight white cis man? 

Your life may be in danger!

Don’t let yourself become just another fridged person or tragic backstory. Take your life into your own hands today, call Secondary Character Protection Services!

“No one ever wants to admit that they’re not in charge of their own life,” Agent DeWitt began, thumbing over the edge of the flyer. “It’s like saying that you’re not worth it. You’re not worth the story. You’re not worth--worth even naming. Do you know what your middle name is?”

“My name is Kate,” the young woman across from them said. She twisted her hands, crumpling the flyer between them. “Kate Jackson.”

“Kate,” DeWitt repeated with a smile. “Is that short for Katherine? Did your mother pick your name, or your father?”

“I don’t know.” She picked up her mug of coffee aggressively, taking a drink to buy herself time.

DeWitt smoothed out the flyer again, and set it between them. “That’s okay. Tell me about the person in your life that made you call me.” They tapped the number at the bottom of the flyer. 

“He’s my boyfriend,” Kate said quietly. Her knuckles whitened on the mug handle. DeWitt offered her a packet of sugar. “He’s--well, he’s a great guy, Agent. I love him.”

“But?”

She shrugged, and her gaze settled somewhere above DeWitt’s head. “He was acting oddly, and I thought he might be cheating on me, so I confronted him about it. Turns out he was in some freak accident at the factory, and now he has powers over electricity. I made him an outfit to help him hide his identity. He found out that there’s this evil woman who’s--I don’t know. Doing something terrible. He told me the less I know, the better. It’s the only way to protect me.”

“What’s his superhero name he’s using?”

“Power Surge.”

DeWitt grimaced. “And he told you specifically, he’s not telling you anything to keep you safe? Do you know the name of the villain, at least?”

“Frosticle.”

The Agent choked on their coffee, and set it down carefully. “Oh, honey.” They cleared their throat. “Ms. Jackson, you are in very, very great danger. This is terrible writing.”

“You think so?” Kate brushed her hair out of her eyes. One wayward dark curl obstinately bounced back onto her cheek. DeWitt was sure it was the same artist who put her in a shirt that cut uncomfortably low. 

“Can I ask you, Ms. Jackson, when your boyfriend is at work, or when he is out protecting the streets at night, what do you do?”

“Usually I sit in my underwear beside the window and watch for him to come back.”

“Do you bite your lip?”

“Yes. I mean, when I’m not arching my back at odd angles so that the moonlight can hit my breasts and my ass at the same time.”

DeWitt glanced nervously towards the diner’s large window; they half expected a rocket launcher to come flying through the glass at any moment. “I’m taking you into immediate protective custody.”

There was no sign above the Agency’s door; in fact, there was no separate building for it. DeWitt just led Kate into a sprawling office building, passing doctor’s offices, tax preparation offices, industry offices, even a tiny closet-sized space dedicated for selling other people’s stuff on eBay. When they finally stopped, the door only had SCPA stenciled on its window. 

“Do you ever get people coming here looking to adopt a kitten?” Kate asked, squinting at it for a moment.

“Yeah. There are a lot of disappointed dyslexics in this town.” DeWitt unlocked the door with a swipe of their badge, then held it open to allow Kate to pass inside. The room was mostly empty, save for a single desk against one wall, and a few doors that bordered a more private office, a bathroom, and a small kitchen area. The interior walls were plastered with newspaper clippings about super occurrences from all over the greater metro area. Kate touched one of the clippings carefully.

“This is him. This is Trent,” Kate said quietly. 

“You said you made his outfit, right?”

She nodded numbly, tracing her fingers along the edges of the black-and-white photo that saw Power Surge facing off against a burning building, smoke curling around him. His back was to the camera. She put her hand to her chest, and her eyes fluttered. 

“It shows off his arms so nicely,” she breathed. Her chest heaved, and her shirt seemed to tighten over the impossible planes of her stomach.

DeWitt groaned. “We need to find that artist ASAP,” they muttered, and draped their suit coat over Kate’s shoulders. “Come inside and have a seat. I need to talk to my boss, and then we’ll draft a plan for you. You’re in danger of kidnapping at the very least. How long has your boyfriend been fighting this villain?”

“Frosticle,” Kate supplied.

“That’s such a terrible name,” DeWitt whispered, but led Kate over to a white couch anyway. Kate draped herself across it, the suit coat slipping off her shoulders to pool around her elbows. 

“Trent only just found out about her. She’s started freezing pipe lines leading into the upper district of the city. You know, where the big corporations are taking all the potable water and selling it?”

“While the poor still don’t have clean drinking water downtown, yeah. Typical mirror of current events.”

“I guess so. But the pipe lines are bursting and causing huge damage to the subway system that the same people depend on, so.” She shrugged. “Trent is trying to stop her.”

DeWitt leaned against the arm of the couch thoughtfully. “I don’t suppose he’s tried talking to her about it?”

“You can’t reason with someone like Frosticle. She’s crazy. And she hates men, so she won’t give him the time of day anyway.”

“Is that what your boyfriend told you?”

“That’s all he’ll tell me.” She sighed. Her bosom heaved. Her curly hair spilled over her shoulder. DeWitt could already see her broken and bloody on the floor, light framing her from a busted window in a clear display of martyrdom meant to make this Power Surge realize his true potential. 

This was worse than the child sidekick they had put into witness protection three weeks ago.

“AGENT DEWITT!” The voice boomed from the corner office, and the door swung open to show a tall, broad man in a three-piece suit. He wore two eye patches, one over each eye. “THIS IS THE CASE YOU WERE TELLING ME ABOUT? BRING HER INTO MY OFFICE!”

Kate startled, and nearly fell off the couch. She nearly fell out of her bra, too. 

“Yes, sir,” DeWitt called back, and offered her a hand up. “Chief Special Agent is a little loud, but you get used to him.”

“He has two eye patches. How does he see?”

“Sometimes I think he uses his voice for echolocation. Don’t worry, it’ll be a short conversation. Whoever writes his dialogue only knows how to steal from motivational posters.” DeWitt led her into the office. A shiny placard repeated CHIEF SPECIAL AGENT, and there were stacks of paper on one side of the desk covered in nothing but scribbles that were supposed to reflect writing. The walls were papered with repeated images of a kitten hanging from a branch, hang in there written beneath each sad-looking cat. 

Chief sat behind his desk, steepling his fingers and making his shoulders even more impossibly wide. Kate could have laid across them from end to end and hardly need to curl her toes to fit. DeWitt was fairly certain the artist had no idea what human proportions were.

“YOU TWO CAN SURVIVE THIS. YOU JUST HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER.”

“Yes, sir,” DeWitt answered. 

Kate’s hair disheveled from the force of Chief’s voice. 

“REMEMBER THERE IS NO I IN TEAM. THE CITY IS COUNTING ON YOU.”

“Of course, sir.”

“WELL, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GET BACK OUT THERE, AGENT DEWITT. YOU’RE OUR LAST HOPE.”

DeWitt escorted Kate back out of the office. The kittens swam in front of her vision.

“Our last hope?” she repeated, alarmed. “Is there some bigger danger that you’re fighting?”

They leaned back against the door with a sigh, then rubbed at their eyes a moment. Exhaustion pulled at their cheeks, before they cracked a smile. “No, Ms. Jackson. The Chief was the first one I saved, you see. He was slated as a police chief that was the inspiration behind a cop-turned-superhero. He was only ever written to be a supportive father figure. I only narrowly got him out alive, but some of the writing stuck. He means well, and I give him the big office, otherwise he starts to get anxious. I have to try and keep him close to his script for his sake.”

Kate tugged at her curls, trying to smooth them back down. “I don’t understand. How do you know all of this? And how--how are you going to save me?”

DeWitt pulled their suitcoat back up around Kate’s shoulders. “For starters, we’re going to buy you some new clothes. Then, Ms. Jackson, we’re going to rewrite your story. Are you ready?”

*****************

No one was ever really ready to rewrite their story. 

DeWitt stared at the pouring rain, collar of their overcoat turned up against the chill, holding a smoking cigarette in one hand. They didn’t even smoke, but they had to think, and they knew this was the only way it was going to happen. 

Kate wasn’t ready. DeWitt saw it in the way she moved. She couldn’t keep the sway out of her hips. She kept wetting her lips with her tongue, but her lipstick never smeared. She walked on her toes. Her back had an unnatural curve. Even DeWitt found her irresistible, and this wasn’t even the story they belonged in. Hell, they didn’t belong in any story. 

“Agent DeWitt?” Kate stood in the pouring rain. Her hair stuck to her cheeks. She had followed orders and gotten a new outfit, one that was a relaxed fit and covered her from neck to ankles. Unfortunately, she had chosen a delicate and white fabric, and the downpour left it plastered to her every curve, even showing a flower-decorated bra underneath. And her jeans still hugged her hips. “Agent DeWitt, are you okay? You look--”

“Broody, I know,” they sighed. “I had to spend some time thinking, is all.” They dropped the cigarette, crushing it under heel. “And noir is the best way to think. I’m sorry about the rain.”

She blinked up towards the heavy clouds. Water trickled down her face. Her makeup didn’t so much as smudge. “I was thinking less broody, more mysterious. Why is the Chief a Special Agent, by the way, and you’re just an Agent?”

“There’s nothing special about me, Ms. Jackson.” DeWitt grimaced. They were not going to be the mysterious love interest if it killed them. “I was hoping you would buy sweat pants and an oversized hoodie.”

“I could borrow one of Trent’s hoodies. I wear it all the time.”

“Yeah, wearing that and just your underwear?”

Her mouth formed a perfect, innocent o. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” They pushed away from the shelter of the low overhang at last, and tilted their hat against the rain. They didn’t remember putting on a hat when they left. “Damn it, there’s another one.”

“Another what?” 

“Continuity error,” DeWitt explained. “Mistakes that happen for the sake of the aesthetic. Here, you can stay with me tonight. We’re going to practice changing your script.”

“Your place?” she repeated. “You sure it won’t be putting you in danger?”

“Not at all. Like I said, you’re not in my story.” 

She took their arm to walk, stepping cautiously around the deeper puddles. Streetlights played across the dirty asphalt, and it took less time than it should have to reach their apartment. DeWitt guessed the artist didn’t want to draw any more cityscape panels today. They could hardly blame them. Windows took too many measurements, and with the rain there would be too many dramatic reflections and ominous foreshadowing.

“This is a cute place,” Kate remarked, toweling off her hair once they were in the safety of the apartment. “But...there’s only one bed. Where are you going to sleep?”

“What?” DeWitt dropped their cup of tea. It shattered dramatically, spilling hot water across their fingers. They swore, but the word only came out a series of asterisks. “No, I have a two-bedroom apartment.”

Kate stared at them as if they were insane. “This is a studio apartment, Agent. I can see everything from here. There’s only that one door to the bathroom, where I got this towel. You only have one bed.”

“I’ll sleep on the couch,” they said through gritted teeth.

Kate looked at the empty space beside the coffee table. “What couch?”

They dropped their head into their arms. “Fanfiction writers must be taking their turn.” With another sigh, they went to clean up the mug at last. “Listen, my first story was a slow-burn romance, too. Back when I was a private investigator. I was hired by a pretty dame, and she was in heaps of trouble. Well, I did everything that I could to help her. I fell in love with her.”

“What happened?” 

DeWitt shrugged, the broken pieces of the tea cup scattering into the trash can like a broken heart. Tea dripped from their fingers. “We slept together, and when I woke up, she was gone. She had gone outside to smoke a cigarette, and was kidnapped. Beaten to death by an enemy I didn’t even know I had.”

Kate gasped. Her bosom heaved. The towel dropped from her trembling hands. “That’s horrible.”

“What’s horrible is she was never even named,” DeWitt snarled, using the anger to piece themselves back together. “I called her babe. Ms. Jackson, do you know why I introduced myself to you as Agent DeWitt?”

She shook her head. 

“I don’t have a first name. Agent DeWitt is it. But at least I have a name, I have a profession, I have more than just a tight skirt and a plotline that’s only meant to end in pain and death.” They crossed the room, and took Kate’s hands gently. “So you are going to put on comfortable, loose-fitting clothing. You are going to sleep on the bed, alone. I am going to stare out the window all night and think of the love that I lost, because my angst will distract the writers long enough that you can get a good night’s sleep.”

“But...but what about Trent?”

DeWitt leaned forward to kiss her brow. The touch would be enough to satisfy for now, they hoped. “We’ll start on you and Trent in the morning. I promise.” 

Kate’s hands lingered on DeWitt’s. She stroked her fingers across the back of their hands. “I’m sorry about your babe.” 

They pulled away. Somehow, the hat they kept throwing in the trash was back on, and DeWitt gave in and pulled the brim lower over their eyes, casting a long shadow across their face. “Get some rest, Ms. Jackson.”

[Episode Two]

[Tag list: @gingerly-writing @rrrawrf-writes @thewinedarksea @writerofwriting @hechiceria @knightedwriter @kaypier

First dibs on updates happens on my patreon!]

[descensoparcialdeliris]

Alright, here it is @boysrunaway 💞💓. I really hope you like this.

Hold you for a million years.

When the evening shadows and the stars appear

And there is no one there to dry your tears

I could hold you for a million years

To make you feel my love

Go to the ends of the Earth for you

To make you feel my love.

*****

It was almost midnight and they were holding tightly to each other. Finn had his head on Sam's shoulder and Sam's hands were connecting in Finn's back, hugging him. Their legs were intertwined in the sweetest but clingiest way possible. Inhaling and exhaling at the same rate, with their hearts beating in sync. It was the calm after the storm.

It all felt just right at that moment. Finn really could just be there for as long as he lived and not complain one bit. There, at that moment, where the only thing that mattered was each other's bodies covered in that yellow dim light, where the only thing they could hear was each other's breathing and that show they could not stop watching, where the only thing they could smell was each other's scent and where the only thing they could taste was each other's lips. At that moment, they were just them, every single piece of the world outside was non-existent.

"Jij en ik, 100%, voor altijd" Finn couldn't help but sigh, feeling Sander's words as his, holding even more tightly to Sam. Trying to tell him all that just by touching. Sam returned the hug, leaving also a sweet kiss on Finn's forehead. Finn would sometimes get so lost in his thoughts, thinking everything that happened was too good to be true and his way of getting back to reality was by touching, giving and receiving. Sam knew that, he had learned to read Finn's expressions and learned how to make him feel more at ease. "In elk universum" They both smiled at the tv screen. That sentence had a lot of power to them, relating so much to it.

It was always like this when one of them felt a little down. It had become now their thing, they would cuddle and watch that show every time any of them felt even just a little tired. No words needed, just the touch. This clip in specific was their cure, they would always fully release the tension on their bodies after hearing the short dialogue. Sometimes they would watch the rest of the show, other times they'd turn off the tv and fall asleep, or talk for a while. Most of the times, though, Finn would get his sketchbook and roughly sketch whatever he was feeling at the moment, just caring about portraying his emotions, more than how aesthetically pleasing the sketches would look. And Sam would be there, watching him draw, admiring him. Finn just loved to know Sam would be there to kiss every scar.

"You okay?" Sam whispered after he had sat up to turn off the tv, looking at Finn expectedly but with loving eyes, then changing positions and trying to find one comfortable enough for both of them. They had still their legs intertwined, but now they were facing each other, with their chests far apart and with their hands on each other, Finn had his on the side of Sam, while Sam's was going up and down the soft skin of Finn's arm, brushing his fingers ever so lightly, tracing now his little clown tattoo on the inside of his forearm.

Finn looked up at him, with his eyes fully open and smiling. "I am now" he replied, giving Sam a peck, getting closer to him and lowering his head a little. Now he had just his lover's locket on sight, he reached out to it, played with it a little, thinking about the story behind it and then opened it up. And there it was, the small version of one of the many paintings he had done for his boyfriend. It was a simple painting: two blue train seats with the sunlight sneaking through the window on the side. Finn had painted it one night, after hanging out, way before they knew they had feelings for each other, when they used to be just best friends. It was not the best day Finn had had and Sam had noticed it, so he put one earphone in Finn's ear and the other one in his, trying to make him feel at least just a little better. They were listening to music, singing, nothing out of the ordinary, but Finn had looked so lovely and baby with the sun shining on his face that Sam couldn't help but snap a picture of it. "Wacht, just keep looking at the sun" he remembered those words so vividly, like it had just been yesterday. And oh, it had been so tempting to him to just keep looking at Sam; so tempting to stay still, wait for Sam to ask him what was wrong and just tell him "I'm looking at the sun, you're my sun". But he didn't do it, so once he got home, he had to paint something not only to treasure that moment forever, but to free himself of what he was feeling.

Finn smiled a little bigger, remembering all those sweet times they had had even before they started dating. "What do you want to do now? Do you want to sleep?" Sam asked softly. Finn closed the locket and left it hanging on Sam's chest and looked up at him again. "I have completely lost any desire of sleeping, to be honest" Finn watched as a small and mysterious grin was growing on Sam's face and he furrowed his eyebrows, knowing he had something on mind but couldn't figure out what it was "Wha-"

"Alright, then, kom!" said Sam and jumped out of the bed, dragging him along.

"Wait, wait" Finn replied while laughing softly, confused by the sudden change of tone the whole situation had had. "What are you planning on doing?" he asked, curious but letting himself be dragged out of the bed, looking so lovely at Sam. God, he was so gone for him, he loved him so much. Sam just gave him one of his sweet smiles, the ones that made Finn's world stop and his stomach do silly things.

Sam positioned his boyfriend just behind the window. "Stay right here, I'll be right back" Finn felt a tender kiss on his shoulder and then the cold of his boyfriend's absence.

From where he was, he could see the moon, study it, feel its light on him like so many times before. He'd sketched to that light way too many times. For so long, the moon had just become his best friend, keeping him company when he couldn't get himself to sleep. When he'd felt so heavy, he'd think the space-time would distort just beneath him, he would feel the moon and the stars closer to him, so close that if he dared, he would be able to touch them. He'd feel so overwhelmed by the intense light he imagined to be striking him; but still wanting to reach out to it; feeling confused as well, how did the universe around him shine so bright when all he got was darkness inside? Thing is, he'd actually shine just as bright, but if he would've been able to see it, his eyes would've burned. Sam, on the other hand, was able if not to see it, to feel it. He knew Finn was worth everything.

And this time, right in front of his window, was different for Finn. He was not alone anymore, he was with the actual love of his life, hearing his movements behind, waiting for whatever he had on mind.  

It was just seconds later he started to hear the lyrics of that song they have sung each other many times before.

"I found a love, for me. Darling, just dive right in" Finn turned to face him, Sam was just a meter apart with one hand holding out "follow my lead" without any hesitation, Finn took it, with such a big stupid smile planted on his face and his heart pounding on his chest, following his boyfriend's lead, letting himself be swung by him. "I found a boy, beautiful and sweet".

"Oh, I never knew you were that someone waiting for me" Finn sang this time, his eyes shining so bright, they resembled a baby's eyes, so full of joy and love. Sam would never get tired of that face he gave him. Finn pulled Sam closer, not wanting to waste any other second far from him.

"'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love, not knowing what it was" they sang together this time, both just so amazingly lost in the song, drunk in the feeling, strayed in each other. Finn put his head in Sam's shoulder, once again and they began to slow dance. Sam's right hand was holding him by the back, while the other one was intertwined with Finn's left hand, their moves becoming more and more smooth with every second.

It felt like a dream, almost, slow dancing, with the moon so visible in the sky, that warm light hugging them, their shirtless bodies so up close and a little cliché song as background. They loved each other with so much intensity you could actually feel it in the air.

They danced to all the songs in the playlist, laughing constantly by the Disney songs that made them reenact the scenes, making silly faces and dance moves. 

"Hakuna Matata... What a wonderful phrase!" Sam recited in a high pitched tone, Finn couldn't help but roll his eyes, he was so done with that song. "Come on, you know you love it! It means no worries... For the rest of your days", Sam continued while starting to do so many stupid dances that got Finn laughing out loud, so sure that if his boyfriend kept going he was eventually going to fall. And it happened, Sam stumbled and fell on his knees, but couldn't even begin to care, he continued singing to the song.

Finn, on the other hand, was laughing at him, "You're such an idiot" he said but looking at him so fondly, feeling so amazed by how much he loved him, how much fun it was to be around him, how free he felt at moments like this. Sam looked at him still on his knees, smiling widely. He got up and quickly so closed to Finn "Oh, but I'm your idiot" he lamented jokingly as he pressed a soft kiss on Finn's lips, a short one, though. It was the kind of kiss Finn would never be satisfied with, so he cupped Sam's face, not letting their lips stay apart for more than a second, kissing him deeply but smiling through it. And, oh, every time they kissed felt like the fucking first time, Finn would feel a whole fucking zoo in his stomach; feel his heart pounding on his chest, pull Sam's hair and touch every part of his body. Again, to touch the reality of it all, to touch their love. He'd melt every time they kissed like this, needing Sam to hold him up, although they were both in the same bubble.

The world around them was fading away. Finn's hand in Sam's neck started going down and staying in his chest, right where he could feel his lover's heart beating. Meanwhile, Sam's hands were on Finn's waist, steadying him. It was so magical and powerful, every time they kissed they gave 'love' a whole new concept.

They continued dancing for so long, they lost track of time. Changing between slow and romantic songs to a little more energetic ones. Of course, Bowie had to be in the playlist, and whenever one of his songs started playing they would just do a whole performance of it, closing their eyes and singing loudly, as if they were on a concert with hundreds of fans singing along.

Some of the songs in it were from wtfock soundtrack, and to those ones, they would just chill, feeling so connected to them, to the story.

Dance Monkey started playing, making them break apart, stopping their slow dance from the song before and therefore, breaking their kiss. Both looked at each other, Finn's eyes were kind, warm but sleepy, while Sam's were loving but a little goofy, like he still had something in mind "They say dance for me, dance for me, dance for me, oh-oh-oh..." Sam sang and Finn made him spin on his place and then hugged him very tightly, holding him to never let go. It was just seconds later that Sam's intentions were revealed when he started tickling his boyfriend, wanting to hear his laugh one more time.

Finn tried to escape from it, laughing uncontrollably, walking backwards, trying to say whatever he could to get Sam to stop. But he wasn't going to stop, he kept going until Finn's feet hit the base of the bed, falling inevitably on it and with Sam falling right on top of him.

"Okay– okay!!" Finn tried to take Sam's hands off of him, his body shaking and his eyes shut, with tears starting to fall down from the pressure "Stop– my stomach is already starting to hurt!" he yelled one more time, choppy by the laugh taking over him, and Sam finally decided it was enough, he took his hand off of him and laid on his side, letting him catch his breath but laughing softly.

They stayed still, heavily breathing by the tiredness already hitting them, till the last seconds of the song they had forgotten about, the last one of the playlist. Finn landed his sleepy eyes on Sam's "Alright, I may be ready to sleep now" he said, with a tone ever so cute, so endearing and charming, looking at him with those baby eyes. Sam placed a hand on his face, holding him lightly, brushing his thumb tenderly on his cheek, giving him some eskimo kisses, too. "Yeah..." Sam took a deep breath and whispered "Me too".

"Let's go to sleep, engel" Finn chuckled and they quickly got under the covers, no cuddles yet, just facing each other just like before. Admiring each other's beauty, being so, so close and getting even more so, like magnets. They closed their eyes, but right before their lips met, Finn let out a sigh and murmured a soft "Thank you" as he stroked their noses and Sam opened his eyes to look at him.

"You don't have anything to thank me for, schat" Sam responded, cupping his face once again.

"No, I do, I just..." Finn opened his eyes, searching the right words to say "Thank you for making me feel this way... So loved and cared for. So... Safe" he said and felt those words in every part of his body, he really felt like that and needed Sam to understand the infinite love he had for him. He wanted to scream from the rooftops how madly in love he was with the boy just in front of him. He wanted to find a way to make Sam feel like he did every time they were together; wanted to find a way of really showing it to him. Because no matter how many times he said it, it always felt like it wasn't enough.

Sam smiled at him, so crazy over Finn's babyness and cuteness "You don't have to thank me for that" Finn opened his mouth to complain, but before he had a chance to do so Sam said "You don't" and raised Finn's chin with his index finger "Existing is everything you have to do to make me feel right" Finn couldn't do anything but melt and crash their lips together, putting his hand on his boyfriend's back and pushing him closer, kissing him so intensely.

They surrendered to the feeling. They kissed. They kissed as though nothing could fall. They kissed until they were too tired to even think.

But before they completely gave in to the darkness, Finn, slowly, as if he was tasting the words,  whispered "Ik hou van u" and searched for Sam's hand with his to interlock them. "Ik hou van u" Sam replied seconds after he pressed a small kiss on Finn's forehead "mijn kunstenaar" he said, lastly, with the words filled with adoration.

When they woke up, they were in exactly the same position. They woke up but stood so still, wanting to preserve that moment forever, feeling like time had stopped around them, feeling like the center of the universe, feeling so good. They could hear some birds singing outside and the relaxing way the other one breathed. They just knew how much they loved each other, felt it in their bodies... So much so, that they were sure they had to be together not only in this one, but in elk universum.

****

Fun facts?? i guess:

Sam is short for Samsíða which is Icelandic for 'parallel'. YES I KNOW IM CHEESY AF, but it just fitted so! well!

And yes, Finn, in this universe you have the clown tattoo I designed and that's on that, im sorry, i make the rules now.

[miss-musings]

A Hellstrop look at 4.03

Going through it scene-by-scene:

Opening scene, these two are looking domestic AF -- outside, sharing some coffee (presumably), which makes me think of their matching coffee cups at the airport at the end of 3.05. I also find it interesting that they’re plotting their day together, rather than with the rest of the Soul Squad. Just reiterates what I said earlier -- Eleanor and Michael are co-leading (or co-parenting) this Good Place Experiment 2.0.

So, then. Eleanor brings up what a dork Chidi is, which Michael also laughs pretty heartily at. It’s when she remarks on how much she loves him, that Michael changes the subject. 

“It’s so great he erased his memory,” Michael says... almost like he’s happy that he gets to spend less time with Chidi and more time with Eleanor. But, then he sees the look on Eleanor’s face, and he quickly remarks how he’s always cognizant of how Chidi electing to erase his memories has caused Eleanor pain. He specifically says that he always thinks about it and he’s respectful of Chidi’s sacrifice. Hmmm....

Then, when Chidi approaches, all chipper and blissfully unaware of who exactly they are to him, Michael is practically beaming.

In the office scene right after the ‘coffee date,’ as it were, Michael -- who has known Chidi through 803 reboots and during his two-year reboot on Earth in the new timeline, says that he’s never seen Chidi so relaxed before. Huh. And, then of course, he -- very rightly, I will clarify -- says that Chidi needs to be tortured in order to become a better person. OK. Eleanor’s on board with it, and she’s very gung-ho about using her ‘torturing ex-boyfriend skills’ for Chidi’s betterment.

I also find it interesting that Michael (and Eleanor) decide to turn to Jason for help in torturing Chidi. Wouldn’t they be afraid that Jason could accidentally give the whole thing away? Also, Jason seems to like Chidi and says himself that he’s coming off the heels of a rough break-up and maybe isn’t the right person for the job. But, of course, they know exactly how effective Jason will be at making Chidi miserable enough to decide to better himself, so they pursue it anyway.

I think the whole crux of the episode, as we’ll talk about more later, is that Eleanor is acting kind of petty with this whole ‘motivating Chidi via torture’ thing. While everyone -- even Michael -- says it’s time to let up, she’s like no, let’s keep going until he’s straight-up miserable. It’s almost like that whole “If I can’t have you, no one can.” Eleanor has grown a lot, but she’s still clearly vindictive toward her ex-boyfriend for “abandoning” her, even though he did it in an act of self-sacrifice.

When Michael and Eleanor visit Stressed!Chidi, they’re wearing matching sweater / bow tie. So cute!!! When they wear matching blues and pinks and purples, it’s usually pretty subtle. But, this was VERY obvious, thanks to that bright shade of yellow. I wonder if any of the residents ever wonder if these two Architects are a ~couple~. Like, they don’t know how Architects’ lives work. Maybe. Who knows?

Also, Michael seems to be very happy to see Chidi being tortured again. And then of course the little fist-bump between them. :)

At the luau, Michael and Eleanor are wearing matching leis!

So... who’s idea was it to create the helpful Magic Ants? Michael seems to have control over them, since Eleanor tells him to call them. Also, even though we didn’t get the scene, I would’ve loved to have seen Michael and Eleanor drinking champagne in their shared co-Architects’ office, because they are the co-parents of this neighborhood. But, damn, Chidi’s torture is to the point where Michael’s saying they need to ease off and Eleanor’s even more gung-ho. And I love the little touch of Eleanor moving to Michael’s side whenever Chidi comes into the office. Rather than moving closer to Chidi, she moves closer to Michael.

And then THE ANTS SHOW UP! Did Michael already mentally summon them with his demon powers???

OK, so for the Chidi-almost-confesses-and-Eleanor-breaks-down scene:

I know I’m not the first to point this out, but I love how, even when Michael is facing Chidi and talking to him, his body is still pointed at Eleanor. I feel like I remember some random tidbit back in my hardcore dating days. If you’re standing in a group (circle or semi-circle) of people, and you want to see who someone’s the most interested in, look at where their feet are pointed. I feel like this is actually kind of worthless when it comes to trying to figure out whether your crush actually likes you or whatever, BUT, I think it’s a point worth making here.

And, of course, their blocking reinforces everything this season has given us so far. Eleanor is in charge; Michael is her ‘assistant’ / co-Architect; and Chidi is THEIR subject now. He’s no longer an equal. Michael and Eleanor are really the equals here, even though Eleanor and Chidi are supposed to be our couple. It’s sad, really, and as much as I love Eleanor and Chidi, I’m very curious as to how the show is going to give us their romance again considering they now have a very unbalanced dynamic. (Unless they somehow give Chidi his memories back, which I’m not sure if that’s even possible.)

“And this is the Universe getting back at me” -- not the Universe, buddy. Just a bitter ex-girlfriend.

And that fact that Chidi thinks that Eleanor is God (or the God equivalent of this afterlife) just further reinforces how much I feel like we’re not really going to get Chidi and Eleanor as a real couple again. (Unless, again, they give him his memories back.)

So, as Eleanor’s having her little cry, Michael stands by her side, gives her a box of tissues, explains away her remark about how she’d promised to take care of him. And his dialogue again points out that this is Eleanor’s neighborhood. SHE’s the Architect. He’s helping her, sure; but she’s the one calling the shots now. Then, I love how he basically tells Chidi that Chidi’s pain is Eleanor’s pain, and then basically tells Chidi that he will blow up whatever the problem is. LOL

Like “OK, anything that’s causing Eleanor pain is going to get blown up. So, just tell me what it is!” Of course, Michael’s in on the whole thing, but it’s still kinda funny that that’s how he frames it to Chidi.

AND THEN, when Chidi tries to offer his apologies and comfort Eleanor for causing her pain, Michael LITERALLY SHOVES HIM OUT OF THE ROOM!!! “She’ll be fine [as long as you’re not around]!”

LMAO, you guys

So.

Now we come to the “Eleanor figures out why she’s been acting so vicious” scene.

Want to point out that it looks like Michael’s pocket square matches Eleanor’s sweater.

Michael points out that Eleanor & co. were only torturing Chidi because they had to. He basically gives her an out. He says what they were doing was necessary for the experiment, but -- because Eleanor’s grown so much -- she has to verbalize exactly why she did what she did without being prompted.

As we saw with flashbacks in earlier seasons, one of Eleanor’s biggest insecurities was people leaving her. In relationships, she always wanted to be the dump-er not the dump-ee, to the point where she reads Sam’s emails to his dad just so she can get the drop on him before he has the chance to leave her. This time, though, Chidi was the one who left HER, and she was angry, as she says.

Eleanor points out that Chidi is the person she talks to when she’s angry. But, we’ve seen her talk to Michael when she’s been angry, namely in 3.06 when she has her emotional outburst saying “I wanted that mom!” And, just like there, we can see why she prefers to go to Chidi instead of Michael (when she has the option, which wasn’t the case in 3.06), because Michael doesn’t understand human emotion.

“You’re often happy when you should be sad, and angry when you should be happy.”

But, just like last episode, Michael is the one there, comforting her, telling her to get her shirt together because they have work to do, and she’s the only one who can lead them right now. He tells her that she’s entitled to be a little angry, and that she’s on a road to work through it. Which is a much better response than he had for her during her little outburst in 3.06. So, Michael’s growing too, and learning what Eleanor and the rest of the Soul Squad need from him, even though he’s not human and doesn’t understand their emotions.

:)

P.S. Also, after rewatching that clip of the hooded figure making their way to the Good Place experiment, I’m thinking it’s either Shawn or Vicki in the Michael!SkinSuit. It seems to be a person of a taller, broader build, and they seem to be wearing more formal looking shoes. But, that could just be a stand-in and not actually representative of whomever it actually is. But, Vicky-as-Michael seems like the best bet right now, considering that was brought up in the 4.01 “previously on” and hasn’t really been mentioned since. I feel that like that’s a shoe that has to drop at some point soon.

[shirtlesssammy]

8x22: Clip Show

Then:

Cas almost gets hit on by Dean 

Now:

Lost Creek, Colorado

A couple are at a cabin in the woods, and the woman is so happy that her boyfriend finally joined her. He acts like it’s no big deal but we flash back to a memory —specifically of Supernatural season 1, episode 2: Wendigo. He’s Tommy and has some serious PTSD from the terror he experienced that night in the woods.

He thinks he hears a growl and pulls his girlfriend away from the window. He knows that a Wendigo is outside and pulls out a flare to take the unseen monster out. He crumples to the floor and then just explodes right in front of his girlfriend. Eeerp.

At the bunker, the brothers continue to find records that the Men of Letters have kept over the years. Sam’s not doing so well due to all the Trials. He’ll feel better once they finish them.

Cas shows up in the war room, and it appears that Dean and Cas didn’t follow the golden rule of not going to bed angry. Dean doesn’t even acknowledge the angel. Cas is still convalescing. He sits down to talk with Sam a bit about the trials. Dean comes back with food for Sam—well, jerky, beer, and peanut butter cups. 

Cas offers to go with Dean for more food, but still gets the cold shoulder. “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “For everything.” Classic DeanCas, lol. (Brb, off to throw myself off a cliff.) Oh wait there’s more, Dean calls out Cas with the whole bolting with the angel tablet and adds, “You didn’t trust me?” 

THESE BOYS ARE NOT IN LOVE:

Cas is contrite but Dean is not accepting his apology. Sam stays out of it all for a bit but interrupts eventually to pull Dean aside to make it clear that Cas is one of the good guys. What’s that saying? Dean’s harder on Cas because he loves him the most? Well, meh, I do like their later seasons of grumpy banter more than the divisiveness of right now.

In any event, the brothers head to a storage room. 

Sam wants to find a case that their records mentioned. He finds the box, and Dean finds a dungeon! Sam’s box contained a movie film.

They set up the movie (They even made popcorn, guys!)

It’s an old black and white film of the Men of Letters. Josie, the woman that Abaddon possessed, is filming the experiment. They have a demon captured in the very dungeon the Winchesters just discovered. They throw holy water on the demon, recite an incantation at it, and then one priest cuts his hand and presses it on the demon. It flares out, apparently gone. The film stops. It was weird (!!!) One of the priests is still alive and Sam thinks it’s a good idea to get the lowdown on what they just watched on the film. Cas wants to go too but Dean won’t hear of it. (Brb, flinging myself off another cliff. DO NOT LIKE.)

Cut to the brothers meeting with the priest. He tells them that the other priest believed that demons could be saved. He thought that they could cure the demon and they could be a normal human soul again. There were other experiments after that one attempt, and then the priest ended up dead a couple months later. Something had torn him apart. Sam tries asking about records but goes into a coughing fit, complete with blood. He heads to the bathroom while Dean continues to talk with the priest. The priest agrees to give them the other priest’s papers.

Meanwhile, Cas is on a mission to make up with Dean. He’s at a Gas ’n Sip and pulling all the essentials to make Dean like him again.

Ways to woo Dean Winchester:

Beef Jerky

Porn

TP

Beer

Protein

AND Smiting the sap who can’t provide the pie

Cas almost smites the poor attendant. Metatron interrupts. They need to talk.

He wants to talk about Heaven. It’s apparently a mess up there without the archangels. Naomi isn’t in charge as much as she’s led Cas believe. Cas blames himself for everything that’s happened in heaven. (URGH, no! —I mean, yeah, but NO). Metatron thinks they can buddy up and save the day! They can sort everything out. First, they need to shut down Heaven. Then he mentioned crepes and flies away.

At the bunker, Sam can’t find Cas. Dean doesn’t care (URGH, no!) They decide to watch the last audio recording before the priest died.

Once again, there’s a demon in chains. This time, the priest injects the demon with purified blood. He continues to do this 8 times. And the demon seems to be cured. 

They decide to try the experiment out on their own decapitated Abaddon.

Meanwhile, Cas flaps over to Metatron’s brunch location, a cute restaurant with an outdoor patio overlooking the water. It’s a perfect place to relax!

Iconic dialogue alert: 

Waitress: Cool coat.

Cas: No, it's actually quite warm.

Waitress: Cute and funny. Okay…

Metatron: I should have picked a better looking vessel.

You’re not here to accidentally flirt with the waitstaff, Castiel! Cas asks for clarification on Metatron’s quest to close the gates of Heaven. Metatron waves it away as just another godly safety switch - you’ve got one for leviathans, demons, and Heaven, of course. Metatron tells Cas that it’s time for a heavenly lock-in to work out all their feelings. And he needs Cas, the warrior, to do it. Cas owns to feeling responsibility for the current state of Heaven but recoils when he hears the first trial. He’ll need to cut out the heart of the cute waitress, the sole nephilim on earth. (Pronounced in this episode as neph-IL-im.) “What’s more important?” Metatron asks. “Her life? Or your family?”

With season 9 under my belt, I watch Dean and Sam sewing Abaddon’s head on with particular horror. Like, you took on the Mark of Cain to defeat her, Dean Bean. Which led to a whole bucket of depression and sad men. Nobody likes buckets of sad men. (JK obviously I love it or what am I even doing here?) What a spectacularly bad idea! Still, it wouldn’t be my beloved show if characters were making smart choices. Abaddon wakes up, cracks her stitched neck, and greets them with “Morning, sunshines.” 

“I can’t wait to tear out those pretty green eyes,” she says, lovingly. The Winchesters smirk, drawing her attention to her handless state. (They chopped off her hands - or maybe just left them detached.)  “I’ll stump you to death,” she says and...that’s the spirit, Abaddon! She knows about the priest and his work curing demons. In fact, she was a special dispatch straight from Hell to make an example of him. The priest led her to Josie and possessing Josie helped her dismantle the entire Men of Letters network. Yeesh. 

The phone rings. It’s Crowley! Abaddon is appalled to learn that Crowley is the King of Hell. Dean and Sam leave the room to talk to Crowley and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BOYS they leave Abaddon alone. 

Outside, the Winchesters chat with Crowley. He directs them to some news stories, “sexts” them an address, and bids them farewell. They discover that Crowley’s been putting out hits on people the Winchesters have saved. 

While Crowley’s giving them the news, Abaddon makes like Thing from the Addams family and puppets her hands out of the loosely closed box on the table.

Her hand crawls into her mouth and pries out the demon trap bullet. It’s freedom time, mofos. 

The Winchesters return to find Abaddon gone. You FOOLS! Sam keeps his eyes on the prize, though. Crowley’s latest address is from their “witches and baked goods” case and is clearly a trap. Time to make a play to catch themselves a different demon. 

Prosperity, Indiana

The power’s out in the target’s apartment (and so are the cupcakes! yum!) Unfortunately, Jennie’s body is also out - sticking out of the oven, that is. “You were a great gal, Jennie Klein,” Dean says and...okay? Great mourning, everyone. 

Crowley calls them up again. He’s killing off everyone they’ve saved (and using the books as a reference guide) until they deliver the demon tablet to him. 

Metatron and Castiel stalk the waitress outside her place of work, Metatron goading Cas to make a choice. Urg. It’s just the bad decisions gang all around. She whirls around to confront them and saves them the trouble of introductions. “I could see your halos.” (I start to hum Beyoncé to avoid thinking about this next part.) Metatron calls her an abomination and she begs to be allowed to just live her life. (She apparently works twelve hours shifts as a waitress, for heaven’s sake. It’s not like she’s exploiting her power.) Cas looks disturbed, apologizing even as he advances on her. She throws him across the grounds like he’s nothing and then advances on Metatron. Castiel kills her from behind. Oof. 

The Winchesters race to the next location, only to discover Sarah - the art dealer Sam flirted heavily with several seasons ago. She’s staying in a seriously adorable hotel room, with actual art on display. Dean greets her like he’s just dropped by for a casual visit. OMG Dean. Sam briefs her on the plan. Devil’s traps at all the exits, shotguns, and an exorcism ready to play on loop. We learn that Sarah’s married with a kid. (Sam gets a peek at what-could-have-been.) Sarah tells him that he’s changed - he’s more confident and grown up. She misses the old haircut. Awww… 

Crowley calls and starts counting down and when he reaches zero, Sarah starts to choke. She collapses. “You son of a bitch!” Dean shouts. “Son of a witch,” Crowley clarifies - his mother taught him a few useful spells. The Winchesters start tearing apart the room to try and find a hex bag. Crowley continues his villain monologue: he’s keeping all things hell-related far away from the Winchesters - no more demons getting close enough for them to kill. 

“I think the people you save, they're how you justify your pathetic little lives. The alcoholism, the collateral damage, the pain you've caused – the ONE thing that allows you to sleep at night, the one thing is knowing that these folks are out there, still out there happy and healthy because of you, you great, big, bloody heroes!”

I mean, when Crowley’s right, he’s right. 

Sarah dies. Ugh. UGH. Crowley gives an ultimatum: they stop their quest to close Hell or people keep dying. In rage, Dean hurls the phone across the room. When it breaks, they finally find the hex bag. (Me: But okay she only stopped breathing a minute ago? Start CCR and call 911!)

Back at the bunker, Sam is Not Okay™ and does not respond well to Dean’s attempts to cheer him up. Sam, who continues to look awful and exhausted, suggests giving in to Crowley. “We’ll kick it in the ass like we always do,” Dean insists. Rousing speech, babe. 

We fade to black, with everyone we love on dark paths of one kind or another.

______________________________

I NEED Quotes:

Well, that was weird with three exclamation points.

I NEED pie.

I can't wait to tear out those pretty green eyes.

First things first – what are you wearing?

You’d better find him toot-bloody-sweet. 

I know this is insane, but insane is kind of what we do.

______________________________

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[tvshowfreak]

Thank you so much for translating the part where she talked about joana😊😊 are there any other important parts in the video that us aka non Spanish speakers need to know? Like cris talking about how she realized she was bi or idk, something else

Hey sweets, it’s @croanaexiste on insta who translated the whole section so kuddos to her, I don’t speak spanish well enough to give a complete accurate translation, I just get the general idea of the sentence most of the time 😂

I can try to give you basically the break down of the things they talked about but for a full and accurate translation we’re gonna have to wait for fluent spanish speaker angels.

They start the interview by talking about Skam’s popularity and what it was like to go from being anonymous to having people from all around the world talking to her. 

Then he asked what it feels like to be chosen to be a main character of a season, she said it’s an honor, that it’s amazing to have such huge visibility, for bisexuality, relationships between girls and mental illness, and because it’s so necessary to talk about these important subjects.

Then they talk about bisexuality and how it’s not a sexuality that is represented or showed much on spanish tv. She talks about how rare it is to have two central characters of a show be two women in love, and that on top of that are both bisexual because usually bisexuality is completely absent. 

Then she talks about the amazing impact of the show, how she got messages from people who were able to come out to their friends and family or even feel better about their sexuality because of the show. 

Then they talk about Cris’s character as a party girl who hides things from her parents, and something nowadays generations staying at home - I’m sorry I didn’t quite understood that part 😂

Then they talk about the scene Lucas finds out about Cris and Joana at the party, and how beautiful was that scene and how important it was for those two characters to have a connection. They talk about how they went further with Lucas’s storyline by giving him a youtube channel and showing awareness on his instagram posts and how important it is. Irene adds that giving Lucas a youtube channel was also a way to give more space to his character because it’s an important one, and that he was also important to put light on how different it is for bisexual girls for example and gay guys, in how people perceive them or recognize them in the street, she was referencing to Lucas getting harassed I presume. And how important it was to show the solidarity I think (sorry I couldn’t understand the specifics).

Then there’s a whole part in which they talk about parties again, but I honestly couldn’t understand anything 😂😂

Then they talk about Croana, that part that was translated 😊

Then they talk about whether or not she thinks Cris knew she was attracted to women before Joana. Irene says that no, and that when she met Joana and felt how she felt she didn’t realize it because she thought it was an effect of the ecstasy and she had so much to think about with the pills and the fight - so she confused everything, and it’s only maybe a couple of days later that she really realized what she felt for Joana.

Then they talk about the subject of BPD, of why they chose to change the original illness which was bipolarity in the og. Irene explains that BPD is apparently a lot more common in women and that it’s often diagnosed during the teenage years, and that they saw it as an opportunity to shine light on a mental illness that is very unknown. She said that herself didn’t know BPD existed before the show, and that since then she talked with so many people who have BPD and that it’s really nice for them to be represented. She says that they talked to psychologists, and between themselves so they could help Tamara represent it the best way possible without dramatizing it or making it just extra drama to the drama. They wanted to do it in the most normal and sane way possible.

Then they talk about Cris having to deal with such important matters at a young age and how it took her time to understand and make choice concerning her relationship with Joana. Irene explains that Cris is 17, she’s got a lot on her plate with school, being a teenager which is a pain in the ass (her words 😂) and on top she discovers that she’s bisexual and that her girlfriend has a mental illness, and that it’s a lot to handle, especially when you don’t know anything about the MI. And that you don’t know that things can be easier if you’re informed, if it’s treated well, and that, like Viri says, it shouldn’t have more importance or be more difficult than to be with someone who has diabetes. She think that Cris’s reaction was normal because she needed to think and wrap her head around everything and be sure that she would be able to handle it. Then she says something about being happy with Joana 😂

Then they talk some more about how badly mental illnesses are shown sometimes, like it’s just people being crazy.

Then they talk about the importance of the friendships in the show, the solidarity between the girls of the squad. Irene says that they wanted to make a show very feminine and feminist and that’s why the show is focused on a group of five girl friends. And that it was important to show the solidarity between women, and between friends - especially because friends are such an important part of your life at that age. The interviewer talks about how cool it is also that the group are outsiders and Irene agrees.

Then he asks about what’s going on with Ruben (lol who cares) and Irene laughs her ass off because indeed, who cares 😂 And she says that Joana was there so what was Cris supposed to do, and that he’s a good guy and she hopes he’s happy 😂😂The interviewer talks about the pills and the money and Irene is like well Cris is happy with her girlfriend now so let’s not bring that up again 😂

Then they talk about Amira and how nice and interesting it was to have a little bit more light on muslim culture. Irene says that Cris and Amira have been friends since kindergarten or middle school and that’s why it was so important for Amira to be a central pillar this season, because she has a big place in Cris’s life. Then Irene starts laughing and says that we’ve seen a little bit of Amira’s culture but that there’s a lot more and it would take an Amira season to really explore it. Of course the interviewer jumps on that and asks if it’s a subtle way to say next season is about Amira and of course Irene says she knows nothing, that she’s just saying 😂

Then they talk about a clip that we should petition for, I think a video of all the actors together, and Irene said she would propose it, I’m not sure I’m sorry i didn’t understand that part.

Then he asks how is the cast and crew are getting along - Irene starts laughing (🌚) while looking on the side, she can’t stop and the interviewer says that Nicole Wallace is there off camera and that they’re laughing together. Then Irene answers that everyone gets along very well, that they now form a small family and that it’s really nice to work with people that are so professional and so sweet. 

Then he asks in what capacity can the actors modify or give their input in the scripts and dialogues. She says they can but at the same time they can’t 😂They can modify the dialogue a bit if the way it’s written sounds off for their character and they think it should be said another way, she says it’s important so that Skam can be the closest to reality possible. 

Then they talk about when Cris comes out as bisexual and that there was a bit of controversy around the pansexual comment in the dialogue. Irene gets real nervous all the sudden 😂 She explains that for her personally, as Irene, she thinks the term pansexuality shouldn’t exist, because in a way it’s biphobic because it implies that bisexuals aren’t open to being with people who are trans for example. He keeps talking about how it brings up the fact that there’s a lack of knowledge of what all the sexualities and labels mean. She says that “there are made up sexualities”, and that it’s not necessary to keep adding more and more labels because it confuses young people, and they have trouble knowing what to identify as, just like Cris who had trouble finding her “label” because there was too many. That’s a rough summary, cause she says a lot of things.

After that she starts breathing again 😂

Then the interview is almost over and her asks how it felt to be the main character of a season. She says it was amazing for the most part, but that it was also a lot of work to appear in all the scenes, but that she’s so grateful to have had the opportunity to have such an amazing storyline, and play such a cool character with such cool people (something like that 😂) The interviewer adds that it’s even more special because it’s unique to Skam espana to reinvent the story and my baby Irene is proud 😌

That’s it 😂 Again this is a rough summary of what was talked about, it’s highly possible that I misunderstood some stuff 😂